Happy 2018! At the start of the year, it’s natural to reflect back on the previous year and think about what you want the new year to bring, what you want to see happen in the next twelve months.
For many people, the new year means a list of resolutions, things one (often unrealistically) hopes to carry out. While I am not against resolutions, I find them to be a bit overwhelming, and have taken a different approach to this new year, deciding instead on a word to attribute to the year as a means of shifting into a way of life I want to imagine for myself, along with a new life motto.
I have spent much of my life focused on what other people think about me, whether it be my appearance, what I think, say, or do, or my accomplishments and failures. I have often found myself living my life to appease others, in the hopes that this is what will make me feel fulfilled and happy.
Along with me trying to please others and searching for approval, my life has also consisted of me taking things too personally, of investing my energy in other people, focusing on their actions and allowing them to affect me, rather than on myself. Needless to say, this way of living my life is not healthy. It places an unnecessary emphasis on my image and disallows me from finding self fulfillment.
In 2018, this will change. Why?
Because in 2018, I commit myself to fearlessness.
Now you may be asking how fearlessness relates to this way of life I am looking to shift. Well, there is a certain bold and braveness associated with fearlessness. Those who are fearless are more than just lacking fear, they contain a sense of inner strength and confidence in who they are. When I say that 2018 is the year of fearlessness, I mean it in the way that 2018 is the year of me embodying who I am, entirely, and staying true to that. I will not allow my fear of what others will think about what I say or do prevent me from doing what I love.
2018 is the year of me owning who I am, without caring what other people think. I strive to be authentically myself at all times, regardless of how this may affect people's view of me.
In the end, how you view yourself will always be more important than how others view you.
2018 is the year I put that belief into action.
Choosing the word fearlessness brings up mixed emotions for me, because I do not like to focus on the negative, and since one must be familiar with fear in order to understand fearlessness, I have been hesitant to keep it. However, choosing this word recognizes the fact that I still have a ways to go: I know what it's like to be fearful, but I am willing to change and let go of this fear.
In the absence of fear, I hope to build a life for myself with courage, bravery, and most importantly, joy.
Acting without fear to me, does not mean big, bold, actions always. I do not want to put that pressure on myself. Instead, my fearlessness will be seen as a cumulation of small, seeds of change: Maybe one day, I go without makeup. The next, I ask to have lunch with someone I want to get to know better.
And I've begun these steps already. Last week, I posted a video of me singing and playing piano, something I've never done. Still, a huge aspect of fearlessness to me is sharing your voice, in whatever means possible, so I am proud of myself for taking that step.
Last week, I planted another seed of change, inviting some friends over to write letters for ourselves to be read at the end of 2018. Along with this, we all chose life mottos. I'm sharing mine now because it feels linked to my goal of fearlessness:
Never let anyone take away your joy.
This is something a priest at my parish shared with my mother this year. When we allow others to influence our moods and overall sense of happiness and joy, we are living in a state of fear, because we are not freeing ourselves and allowing ourselves to live our lives for solely ourselves. When I say I won't let anyone take away my joy, I recognize that my joy is mine to keep, no matter what anyone else around me thinks, says, or does.
This, to me, is the epitome of fearlessness, because by keeping hold of my joy, I am standing strong for what is rightfully mine.
Something that one of my friends pointed out to me when I told her about this new life motto of mine is that no one taking away your joy extends to yourself too. We, by being too hard on ourselves or overthinking things, may be the ones that are depriving ourselves of our joy. It's important to remember that all it takes is an awareness of this to reclaim our joy.
This year, when I find myself dwelling, worried, or any other negative emotion, I will stop and pause, figure out where this emotion is coming from, and move on. This new process of taking time to shift anything that makes me low to joy and happiness is something I hope will make all the difference.
So, in closing, 2018 is the year for me to free myself, to be fearlessly, authentically me, and to claim my right to my joy always.
I urge all of you to think about what this new year means for you, and maybe come up with a word or motto for the year yourselves. Going into the new year with intention reminds us that we have control over our lives, and we can choose to make 2018 the best year yet!
Happy New Year, readers :)
Sam