Who should have a plus one to your wedding.

I’m Sorry But It’s My Wedding And You’re Not Getting A Plus One



So, when people get invited to a wedding, typically they are allowed to bring a date. I mean who wants to go to a wedding and be the only person there without a date right? Well too bad, that's not up to you.

Sure, that may sound harsh, but honestly, now that I've had some time to really sit down and plan out who I want to attend my wedding, it's nothing personal but I had to make some cuts and your plus one didn't make the list. What most people do not realize is that weddings are expensive. You have to pay for every little thing, right down to the little clip holding your napkin down on your plate.

According to the cost of a wedding, the average cost of a wedding with a guest list of 100 people is 25K. (That's if you are frugal with your budget.)

Let me break this down for you, typically speaking, the average wedding has about 50-100 guests, not including the bridal party (if you choose to have one). Now depending on where you are planning on having your wedding, venues charge you per head. Now you include the caterer, they typically charge per plate and depending on what you want your guests to eat that can cost you anywhere from 20-300 dollars. That's not including renting out your plates, forks, knives, spoons, napkins, napkin holders...

Next is seating. Yes, you have to rent the chairs and tables for your wedding ceremony AND reception, because apparently, those are two different kinds of chairs. Table linens are a thing you have to rent per table, which matters because depending on how many guests you have depends on the number of tables or size of tables you'll need.

This list was just barely scraping the surface of all the things an average has for their guests, apparently, there are also wedding favors, and gifts that are tagged on.

Do you see where I'm going here? The reasoning of "oh but it's just one more person," to a person planning their wedding is more like "Oh, but it's just another 200+."

Money aside, because you are definitely NOT paying me to bring your own guest(s), another reason why you can not bring a plus one to my wedding is, well, for the fact that it's my WEDDING.

I put a lot of work into figuring this guest list, and for me personally, I don't see weddings as a popularity contest of how many people I can add to my list; it's more of a how many more people can I realistically take on this list. Right now my list consists of 90 people, that is only including family on both my fiancé's and my side. I cap my list at 100.

Also, when I think of who is going to be attending one of the most special days of my life, my first instinct doesn't go to, "Ah yes, your date who I have probably never met before in my life but should absolutely be there at the most intimate gathering in my life."

In case you are still confused, after reading this let me make it even more simple for you to understand our side of things. It's already hard enough knowing that we are cutting people from the guest list that we have known for years, so if we are not willing to make room for them, why would we make room for your plus one?

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To My Future Sister-In-Law On Her Wedding Day

I hope you know you're dearly loved.

From overly detailed text messages to surprising dress orders from India and nights spent watching mom make flower décor of all styles, we have been preparing for this day for quite some time. Honestly, the wait has seemed longer than the seven months it has taken to get us here. When you asked me to be your bridesmaid a few months ago, I was a little unsure on how to best encourage you through all things wedding related, but now I consider myself a pro at helping relieve the jitters you never even had.

After all of the waiting and planning, all of the love, time and money that has went into getting you to this moment, the day has arrived! So, here’s my letter to you, the deserving and beautiful bride, on your wedding day.

In a little while, you’ll be exchanging vows with the man who made you a mother, and the one that was always worth fighting for. You’ll probably mess up some words and cry when he recites his, but you’ll cheer when it’s all over. At the end of the night, you’ll be way too happy to take your shoes off, and you’ll be getting congratulations messages for weeks from now. I hope that in every second of the day, you see just how much beauty is infused into the time.

I hope you know you’re loved always, by me, your family, God, and (of course) your new husband. I hope you know we’ll always be rooting for you. I hope you recognize the perfect fit that your mister is, and I hope you know that I smile when I see the two of you together. I pray that the love you two have will be passed down to your children’s children as a testament for what the Lord created love to be.

You deserve nothing less than the compassionate, careful, detail- oriented man than you are getting today. You know I’d give you the whole world if I could, but since God’s a better cupid than I’ll ever be, He set you up years ago to meet the man that you would never really be able to get over. I’m thankful that watching your story unfold has taught me what loyalty, unconditional love, and an intentional relationship looks like. I am in awe of the support system that y’all have for one another, and despite being entirely different, your love is still the same. I give all glory to our Creator for the success that I have so joyfully been able to watch you two accomplish. Today is such a celebration of that, and I hope you never forget the feeling of walking down the aisle to make a covenant to your man and God in front of so many people who will always root for you.

In life, I know there will be days that you feel lost, like you have no idea why you did this in the first place, and like no one appreciates the effort you put in daily. These times will come not because you’re not in the situation God ordained for you, and not because you haven’t given it your all. They’ll come when you have been stretched thin and when other things in your life are going astray. Please know during these times that the Lord has not abandoned you, He is only testing you. I hope that you will take time to love yourself, and that you will allow yourself to feel loved by others, no matter how unworthy you feel. Look at those that have done it before you and take a breath. Sweet wife, sweet mama, you’ll do just fine.

Here’s to the beginning of a new chapter, learning to perfect signing new names after yours, and to every beautiful thing that is sure to come from your union with a man who loves you dearly. Thank you for allowing me to love you, to celebrate with you, and to stand alongside you today and forever. I am so grateful for your heart, and to be a part of your family. I’ll forever cherish the moments (and smiles and pictures and tears) that are to come.

Cover Image Credit: Bare Feet photography

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A Little Skepticism Goes A Long Way

Be informed citizens and verify what you see and hear.


These days more than ever before we are being bombarded constantly by a lot of news and information, a considerable amount of which is inaccurate. Sometimes there's an agenda behind it to mislead people and other times its just rumors or distortion of the facts. So, how do you sift through all this and get accurate information? How can you avoid being misled or brainwashed?

This is an important topic because the decisions each of us make can affect others. And if you are a responsible citizen your decisions can affect large numbers of people, hopefully positively, but negatively as well.

It's been said that common sense is not something that can be taught, but I am going to disagree. I think with the right training, teaching the fundamentals behind common sense can get people to have a better sense of what it is and start practicing it. All you will need is to improve your general knowledge and gain some experience, college is a good place for that, then add a little skepticism and you are on your way to start making sensible decisions.

One of the fundamental things to remember is not to believe a statement at face value, you must first verify. Even if you believe it's from a trusted source, they may have gotten their info from a questionable one. There's a saying that journalists like to use: "if your mother said, 'I love you' you should verify it.'" While this is taking it a bit too far, you get the idea.

If you feel that something is not adding up, or doesn't make sense then you are probably right. This is all the more reason to check something out further. In the past, if someone showed a picture or video of something that was sufficient proof. But nowadays with so many videos and picture editing software, it would have to go through more verification to prove its authenticity. That's not the case with everything but that's something that often needs to be done.

One way of checking if something sounds fishy is to look at all the parties involved and what do they have to gain and lose. This sometimes is easier to use when you're dealing with a politics-related issue, but it can work for other things where more than one person/group is involved. For example, most people and countries as well will not do something that is self-destructive, so if one party is accusing the other of doing something self-destructive or disadvantageous then it's likely that there is something inaccurate about the account. Perhaps the accusing party is setting the other one up or trying to gain some praise they don't deserve.

A lot of times all it takes is a little skepticism and some digging to get to the truth. So please don't be that one which retweets rumors or helps spread misinformation. Verify before you report it.


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