You're Looking In The Wrong Places For Your Soulmate
Dating

Yes, Your Soulmate Is Out There, But You’re Looking In All The Wrong Places

Society has taught us that we should spend our lives looking for the one, but we often tend to ignore the one that's right in front of our eyes.

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Browsing through Netflix the other night, I decided on a new show whose concept intrigued me. Set in futuristic Europe, the show Osmosis follows the story of a company with the technology to help you find your soulmate. The show is beautifully done, and even through the layers of sci-fi and drama, is deeply emotional. We all grew up with the concept of a soulmate in mind when thinking of our future romantic partner. But as we grew and changed, got dumped, dated assholes, and waded through a seemingly endless pool of losers, the concept of a soulmate became silly. The idea that there is just one person for you out there among seven billion humans on the planet seems silly. While the idea of the one might remain somewhere in your mind, as you swipe through endless tinder matches and get ghosted by yet another dude, you've come to accept the fact that you might just have to settle.

Okay, maybe you're not that hopeless, but we don't live in fairyland either. You might not find the one to settle with, you'll just find someone, and that's okay. But while you lament the loss of your prince charming, they might have been there throughout your whole life. No, I'm not talking about that kid that's been in love with you since seventh grade. We are told our soulmates have to be romantic. Your other half that completes you. This is where society got it wrong, however. If we think about the ideal soulmate, the criteria a soulmate searching technology would use, what comes to mind? Someone who you connect with on a deep level. Someone you can be completely open with. Someone who loves you unconditionally and wants only the best for you. While these all might be boyfriend or girlfriend material, when you think about it, they could be applied to anyone. Romance does not have to enter the equation to be totally and deeply connected to someone. You might have already found your soulmate. Because in reality, your soulmate could be your best friend. Your soulmate could be your sibling, your childhood friend, even your mom.

It might be weird to think about, but once we remove the need for romance from the equation, it makes perfect sense. Two souls don't need to be connected sexually in order to be connected fully. If, when, you find someone who understands you and loves you more than anyone else on the planet, they could be your soulmate. Society often devalues the importance of platonic relationships. In the endless pursuit for a mate, we neglect to love those around us who have just as much to offer. Platonic relationships can be just as fulfilling as sexual relationships. Sharing a relationship with someone, spending time with them, loving them, building them up. These can all be done outside of a romantic relationship.

My friend Ray has always said that she has met her soulmate in her best friend, Brock. Brock is gay. Ray and Brock have no intention of ever becoming romantically involved. When Ray first mentioned that she and Brock are soulmates, I didn't fully understand. Yes, he might be your best friend, but surely a best friend can't be your soulmate. He can't provide everything you need from a significant other. But that's not the point. Your soulmate does not have to be your significant other. Having a soulmate doesn't mean you can't love someone else just as deeply and affectionately, and who says you can't have more than just one? What Ray and Brock share is a deep trust, love, affection, and understanding that could never be replicated outside their friendship. Them being friends does not change this. Instead of looking to find this in someone romantically, they have acknowledged that they are each other's soulmate, and have chosen to value and appreciate that.

Watching Osmosis the other night, I was moved. The way they describe soulmates was moving and beautiful, and it made me think. In the middle of watching it, I texted my friend of 6 years "You're my soulmate." He and I have never and will never be romantically involved. But we don't need to be. His friendship is more valuable to me than any romantic interaction, and though we might not be in a relationship, he is the one person who fits the criteria of my soulmate. I might never have realized that had I not been described the concept of soulmate, in a romantic context no less. Hearing soulmates described made me realize my soulmate had been right in front of my eyes all my life.

Finding the one in a sea of 7 billion seems preposterous. But maybe you don't have to worry about that. Don't limit yourself to romantic partners to be your soulmate. Don't limit yourself to just one soulmate. If you find someone you deeply love, understand, and trust, do just that. Thrive in the love, trust, and understanding you will receive back from them. You don't need to go searching for your soulmate, they will be there at the right time, in the right place, you might just not know where to look.

Not all your friends have to be your soulmate for you to love them to the best of your ability though. Writing this article has led me to appreciate the relationships I have all the more. Platonic relationships provide so much more for you than you could expect, and you should never hesitate to appreciate your friends for all they do. Soulmate or not, make it a goal to tell your friends how much you love them as much as you can. A friendship is a valuable and beautiful relationship that deserves just as much respect as a romantic relationship. Text your friend today and tell them how much you appreciate them. You never know, they might be your soulmate.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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