People always ask me if I'm a Christian or if I believe in God. The truth is, for a long time, I had no idea. I wasn't brought up in a religious house, but I've been going to an Episcopal school for three years. Recently, I went to church with some friends while I was at camp, and I realized I had a lot of thinking to do.
To me, the idea of God made sense. I didn't believe everything in the world was random, and I definitely thought there was some higher power than humans. Everyone needs something to have faith in. Some choose to believe in God, and some choose to believe in fate or destiny. I had always been somewhere in the middle. Growing up, I thought the concept of some all-powerful, all-knowing being was stupid. I didn't believe in God because I wasn't raised to. I don't blame my family for that at all. It's just the way things were.
Every Monday at my school, we gather for an hour to have a religious service. I always used to dread going, and that hour seemed to drag on for an eternity. This summer, though, I realized I actually missed it. While I was at camp, two of my friends there convinced me to go to church with them. That Sunday, we went to a brick building in the middle of a semi-sketchy part of town. I'll admit, I was skeptical. When we went in, it was nothing like I expected. The inside of the building was actually really nice. There was a stage in the middle of the room with about 200 seats in a circle around it. On the stage, there was a man singing a song I'd never heard before. It was about God and faith, but the man made it sound like any other song. I had always heard church music as organs and high pitched singing, so that was kind of shocking. We went to go sit down, and after the song was over the pastor took the stage. He couldn't have more than 30 years old, and he radiated energy. He was the type of guy you would want to be your best friend, even if you didn't know him. I rarely hear sermons I actually enjoy, but this one was by far one of the best I've ever heard. He talked about God in a way that I had never really thought about. He told us to think about God as someone who loves you unconditionally. He said that God is love, and if you don't have love, you don't have God. The thing that touched me most was that when he said that, I watched so many people kiss their babies, or squeeze their moms hand, or flash a smile at their partner. I could literally feel the love in that room, and I've never had that feeling anywhere else. That's when I realized, I wanted to believe in God. I wanted to have faith in something so powerful. I wanted the kind of love I felt in that room.
So we're back to the original question. Do I believe in God? It's taken awhile to find this answer, but yes, I do.
