With the growing interest and public advertisements of feminist movements, I believe there other issues that our society needs to face. It is true, and I want to say this off the bat, it is true that women deserve to be treated as equals. All people deserve to be treated as equals. Despite your race, age, gender, sex, religion, corporate affiliation we all deserve to be equal. Women’s rights matter. Black Life’s Matter. We deserve to be in a world that we can express who we are and not have to worry about all of the repercussions that come along with expressing ourselves. Some people are great about this. These people know who they are and who they want the world to see them as - and I applaud you! I envy you. Unfortunately, there are those of us who haven’t found the strength to be ok with showing the world who we are. We are scared to be weak, we are scared to disappoint others, and we are scared that we may fail at what we would like to achieve. It’s time now to set aside our fears and fight for what we believe justice is. This starts with forgetting about our privilege.
There are two stories I have witnessed about privilege that made me confident enough to share this story.
One was while I was watching the hit NBC TV show This is Us. If you’re not familiar with it, one of the main characters is a black male named Randall that was adopted and raised by a white family. He speaks in an episode where he talks about the difference in white privilege he has seen. He uses examples, specific things that he deals with due to his race that he has never experienced a white man experience. These examples include salespeople eyeing him in the mall, security guards making sure he stays in their sight, always having to show his ID when he pays with a credit card, and that every morning when he runs he has to make sure that he never gets too close to anyone and always has his headphones in that way no one expects him to jump them. Real issues. Real things that he and other everyday people deal with.
The second one was more recently while I was talking to a friend of mine. There was a post I had seen on Facebook, one of those pictures that you usually scroll past. This one was a conversation between a man and his female friend:
“I think dating is fun. Even if she isn’t the right person for me the worst that could happen is a learn something different or make a new friend.”
“No, the worst that could happen to me is that I could be kidnapped, raped, or killed.”
‘And that’s when I got it…’
Now, I was sitting with a friend of mine at a bar the other night and I was discussing with him this picture I had seen. He was flabbergasted: “She just needs to be more careful, if she is that worried” I couldn’t even gather words to form after hearing that comment…
I am forced as a female to always be aware of my surroundings. I have to make sure if it is dark outside and I am alone that I am looking in every direction and have my hand on either pepper spray or a key just in case. I have to make sure that the second I sit in my car in a parking lot that I lock my doors before getting settled. If I get a call while I am in the bar and I have to make sure that when I leave my seat that I either take my beer with me or I get a new one when I return so that I don’t get drugged. If I get off work too late I take off all of my jewelry and I place my hair in a ball cap so that I can be sure that I won’t be cat-called by someone sitting next to me at a stoplight. I contemplate my clothes every day to make sure what I am wearing is not too tight or too see-through or too short so that I don’t have to deal with people whistling at me on the street.
There are too many things that people have to do when they are not a white male in order to make sure that they are not causing a scene and safe. But, I think there are some issues that white males face that are hard for them too. I took a gender studies class in college. A friend, male, asked me about my classes and I remember sitting there excited to tell him what I had learned in my gender studies class that day. All I said was the class name and he goes, “oh, so it’s a class about feminism”.
No. No, actually it’s not.
Men have gender too. Men have been placed in this box and if they so much as tip that box they run the risk of being called gay or a faggot. I still constantly hear guys use the phrase ‘no homo’.
“Man! Nice shoes, bro! But, no homo.”
Who sits there and thinks that every man that compliments another man’s shoes are homosexual?!
Men, it’s your time too. It’s time that you realize that you have gender and you deserve to be equal in ways that society doesn’t let you be. It’s time to be more, and be comfortable being more, than sex, cars, sports, drinking, benching, providing, wealthy, leaders. Just because you are a man does not mean that you have to know or do any of those things. You can be a man that cries when a puppy dies in a movie. You can be a man that goes to church every morning. You can be a man that likes the color pink or purple or orange. You can be honest and say that you have no idea what Sacrifice Fly is in baseball.
Women, we will get there. We will fight until we see equal rights and treatment. We deserve it.
African Americans, you will get there. You will live to see a day that your race does not play a part in every single aspect of your life. I want that for you because you darn well deserve it!
Men, you deserve it too. Though it may not be legal matters. It may just be you feeling comfortable to put lotion on your feet, letting your daughter paint your nails, standing up to a bully picking on another kid, or talking about your feelings with a friend instead of drinking them away.
We all have a choice to make. Society places us in boxes. What happens when we come together, break through those boxes, and make a fort? What happens when we listen instead of talking and we love instead of judging? What happens when we say enough is enough and we show the world who we truly are and we stand proud about whoever that may be regardless of our privilege. Michael Kimmel states it perfectly, privilege is blind to those who have it. So it’s time to take off the blindfolds. It’s time to realize that the struggles that other people are dealing with are real. It’s time to help each other.
It’s time, so let’s start today!