Never Feel Like You Have To Love A Person Just Because They're Related To You
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Never Feel Like You Have To Love A Person Just Because They're Related To You

Love is all about mutual respect.

4970
Never Feel Like You Have To Love A Person Just Because They're Related To You
Pintrest

We've all heard the age old saying "Blood is thicker than water," but do you know the real meaning? The actual phrase is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb," basically saying that those who choose to love and accept you for who you are, are more important than those who happen to be related to you but disrespect and take you for granted. An idea I try to live by is, respect me and I'll respect you. This is all well and good until an older family member says, "You have to respect your elders!" or "You have to love them. They're your family." So what happens when a family member disrespects you or does something that you morally disagree with? The same thing that would happen if it were any other person. Just because someone is related to you, does not mean they deserve special treatment. You do not have to "respect your elders." You respect people who deserve your respect and only those people.

So then we run into the issue of a family member who continually does things that we disagree with. They say and do disgusting things that you would never agree with in a million years. They don't appreciate you. They don't respect you. They try to hide you and blame you for things. You're on a completely different moral standpoint from them. They're self-righteous. They're obnoxious and annoying. They're not compassionate or flexible or willing to compromise on anything. If they weren't your family, they'd be a person you didn't even like, let alone love. That's fine. Don't. Don't love them. You shouldn't feel obligated to! They're a person. You didn't choose to share DNA with them. It's okay to not love your family.

So many kids get stuck in a family where their feelings are constantly invalidated. That's not okay and it is not a healthy relationship to have. Then, there's a step further where a family member has been abusive, physically or mentally. There are people who abandon their family members or people who straight up do not care about their families. You don't have to love these people just because you're related to them. You don't have to love someone who makes you feel like less of a person just because they happen to be your family. There are so many things that you never have to do and loving someone should be on the top of that list. Loving someone requires so much vulnerability and respect and care. Why give that to someone who you wouldn't even talk to or be friends with in a different circumstance?

If you wake up every morning and one of your parents makes you feel like they don't even want you as a child, you don't have to love them. If at every family gathering your aunt or uncle berates you for your job, sexuality, friends, appearance, anything that invalidates you, you don't have to love them. These people probably have other people who will choose to love them no matter their morality, and above all, they don't deserve your love and you should never feel like your love is right to anyone. Your love is a privilege and you choose who you want to give it to. You should choose this based on people, their character and their morality — not their genetic makeup.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

52790
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

123915
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments