I've done extensive research on this topic. Shrek is love, Shrek is life. I recently watched every single Shrek movie in one day. "Why?" you ask? Because I've lost control of my life. I'm in college: I'm broke, I'm confused, and I feel stupid but Shrek remains consistent. Thank you, you green ogre, you.

I'm going to dissect each Shrek for you and tell you which one is the best and why. Hold on to your hats because it's going to be a wild ride.

I'll start with the latest Shrek, "Shrek Forever After."

This Shrek was a good movie. One thing I respect most about this series is that there isn't one that is truly terrible. Most of the time, sequels are never better than the original, but Shrek pretty much did the damn thing. Shrek Forever After however, lacked a few things. The whole movie is about what Shrek's life would have been like without Fiona. This is moving and touching because I feel like most fathers feel overwhelmed with kids, in-laws, and obligations that are inevitable in life. But who cares? Definitely not the 8-year-old watching this movie. The villains in this movie were pretty solid with the witches and Rumpelstiltskin. When Shrek realized how he would be lost without Fiona it truly was beautiful. Good, solid sequel.

"Shrek the Third"

This movie was very much alright. As I said before, I can't complain abut any Shrek movie...but this one is easily the worst. The Artie character pissed me off throughout the entire movie. Boo hoo, you weren't first in line to be king. Stop complaining and GO BE KING. I also didn't like that it highlighted on how he didn't have a father figure. Shoutout to all the kids in the audience with daddy issues because you definitely just opened up some wounds, DreamWorks Animation. Also, I was so tired of Prince Charming at this point. You had your movie dude, go away. Prince Charming was so stale in this movie. But all in all, still a good movie. When the King died and they played, "Live and Let Die" it was hilarious. The scenes with the princesses banding together were all great and empowering. The Wizard was the best character in this movie and almost made it not the worst. Still least best Shrek, but still okay.

"Shrek 2"

This movie is the movie to end all movies. This movie was about racism and I never realized it. And before everyone gets all "Uh...DUH" with me, I seriously haven't watched this movie in a long time. But whenever they're eating dinner and the King says, "Well his type" to Shrek I was appalled. Then when the King says, "I'm assuming any grandchildren would be..." and Shrek finishes with, "OGRES. YES." it hit me like a bus full of racist kings. *Spoiler alert* the King is actually a damn frog. This movie is beautiful and pure and the fact that Fiona could've been human and beautiful forever but still chose to be an ogre with Shrek was touching in so many ways. Love yourself and don't be racist. There's also a lot of adult humor which is always amusing to me. My only issue is that Fairy God Mother was so annoying and made me irritated during the whole movie. I also didn't like that the big Gingerbread Man dies. That isn't okay.

"Shrek" (OG)

Honestly, I feel like everyone says this movie is the best jut because of the opening song (someBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME.) This is a great song, but let's be real, was the movie that great? Fiona was HELLA annoying and delusional thinking she could be normal when she's an ogre every day after 6pm. But whatever girl, you do you. Lord Farquaad is hilarious and forever my favorite Shrek villain. Gingy makes the entire movie also. This movie is more nostalgic and astonishing that it came out 16 years ago ARE YOU KIDDING ME. Whatever, this movie is phenomenal and really did teach a good lesson about loving yourself. It also said "ass" or "damn" or something that made every kid in the theater look at their parent and hope to God they didn't notice.

So the answer is..."

"Shrek 2"

Shrek 2 is the greatest Shrek movie of all time. This movie begins with a total bop (Accidentally in Love) and starts with the wolf holding "Pork's Illustrated" with a pig in a bikini on it. It then continues hitting racism in the face, and then shows that true love doesn't change for anyone. The annoying Fairy God Mother ends up dying or poofing away or something, so that ended her annoying self, unlike Prince Charming who just wouldn't leave. So in conclusion, say what you want, but Shrek 2 starts happy, ends happy, and has a little conflict that isn't conquered by love and laughter. Also, we meet Puss n' Boots in this movie and that right there is enough.