Why You Shouldn't Ask "But Where Are You Really From?"
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Why You Shouldn't Ask "But Where Are You Really From?"

It’s a totally innocent and genuinely curious question, right? No.

2170
Why You Shouldn't Ask "But Where Are You Really From?"
Simmi Uppaladadium

If you don’t have white skin or look Caucasian, chances are that someone has asked you “Where are you from?” This is an especially common question if you’re in a country where you appear to be a foreigner based on your different skin tone or accent. In my case, I have medium brown skin because I am of Indian ethnicity; however, I have lived in New Jersey since I was a year old. If you ask me where I’m from, I will say New Jersey without hesitation. But some people seem to have a hard time wrapping their heads around this possibility.

Here is how a typical conversation goes:

Other person: By the way, where are you from?
Me: I’m from Jersey!
Other person: Oh haha but you know… where are you really from?
Me: … I have lived in America for 18 out of 19 years of my life so I would say I’m from here.
Other person: haha but you’re Indian right?
Me, trying hard to remain civil: Yeah, I am.

For someone who doesn’t have to go through this round of assumptive questioning on a frequent basis, the sheer rudeness of asking “where are you really from” probably isn’t obvious at first glance. It’s a totally innocent and genuinely curious question, right? No.

Allow me to explain. The question that should have been asked is “what is your ethnicity?” That’s what the other person really wanted to know, but was simply too ignorant to understand the difference between ethnicity and the place a person identifies with.

In addition, the other person thinks that they can assume I’m Indian. Honestly, I have an “American” accent, how do you get off assuming that I’m from India? Maybe I’m Spanish or Malaysian, so don’t jump to conclusions. And once I’ve already told you that I’m from New Jersey, why would you even ask where I’m really from? What does that even mean?

A lady at the mall once was trying to sell me a hair straightener and told me how nice my hair was, followed by “so where are you from?” And when I replied with “I’m from here,” I got the familiar chuckle in reply, followed by a “But where are you really from?” Needless to say, I did not buy the hair straightener from her.

To my fellow victims of this question, as annoying as it is to be asked this, we will probably still have to put up with it. Instead of getting worked up every time at the asker’s ignorance, just retort with “I think what you want to know is my ethnicity, in which case yes, I am Indian.” But why does it even matter what my ethnic background is if I’m telling you the place I identify with? Let's just make small talk without bringing race into it.

I have grown to practice an Indian American culture while growing up in New Jersey, and it’s unfair for someone to think that they can stereotype based on race. This is especially true for second or third generation Indians in the US, whose parents grew up here too. They really embrace the red, white, and blue and probably still get asked this incessant question. So if you’ve ever asked anyone else where they are really from, please don’t do it again. Save yourself the embarrassment and them the petulance.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

46827
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

29698
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

953898
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

166926
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments