It was orientation day when the chaos started. I sat in a circle with my ten fellow freshmen comrades, and I shared my name, major, hometown, and a fun fact about myself. Right after I boldly stated I come from Chicago, Illinois, a comrade asked me where in Chicago. "Lincoln Square," I said proudly, "What about you?" My face fell in disbelief as he said "Arlington Heights," and it was all downhill from there.
It's no secret that Chicago kids are very proud of their city... It's a pretty amazing place to grow up. From your first slice of deep dish pizza as soon as you're old enough to chew, to your first ride on the Red Line alone with your friends, if you grow up in Chicago you learn every nook and cranny in the beautiful city. In my nineteen years, I've learned where to get the cheapest cheese fries, how to get on the bus for free in a pinch, and how to get from the Macy's on State to the Clark/Lake train stop without ever having to step foot outside. Growing up in Chicago means you have to earn the right to live in the city. You have to experience it all for yourself, and earn the right to call yourself a "Chicagoan." That's why Chicago kids get so salty when someone from the suburbs says they're from Chicago. We're territorial folk, we've been through the rings of fire in the city, and we defend our rights to call ourselves Chicagoans and nobody else.
So you can understand my dismay when I got to college and learned that anyone who lives in a 100-mile radius of Chicago tells people they're from Chicago because it's easier to understand than saying they're from "insert suburb/farm town here." I get it, nobody knows where Crystal Lake is, so why not just say you're from Chicago? It's 45 minutes away, same difference... Right?
Weeeell, no. You're from your hometown. I bet you know how late the Walmart is open on Friday nights, which dude at the movie theater snack kiosk will give you free popcorn, and which bleacher at your high school is the best for making out under... I would never dare to take that title away from you. You've earned your right to be from your small town, and you should defend your honor. Why give up all that to say you're from a city you've only been to twice to see a giant bean?
So the solution? When people ask where you're from, just say: "(insert suburb here), about _____ minutes out of Chicago". Then you can defend your small town honor, and we can keep our Chicago pride. And I'm sorry, but if you're from the border of Wisconsin, that's hardly even Illinois! Let alone Chicago. The line has to be drawn somewhere, and I'm drawing it here. I am from Chicago, city of, and I will always defend my honor.
