October 24, 2016. My alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m., and I am sluggish to rise. Midterms have just passed, yet the tension in my shoulders remains. The day ahead is full: class, meetings, work, more meetings, conference calls, and finally, time to breathe.
October 24, 2016. I submit my first application for graduate school. I am overwhelmed with a sense of fear, but also gripped with excitement. Soon, I will be moving on from Misericordia and forward in my journey.
October 24, 2016. I walk through the doors of the hair salon. My heart rate is elevated, yet I strive to remain calm. My mind is made up. Things are different now, and I am ready to be different now. They say after a break-up, a person is likely to drastically change their look. A cut and dye is a quick fix for reinvention. Yet, after being cheated on, because that is in fact what happened, I could not bring myself to part from my identity, the outward representation of myself that I so desperately clung to.
October 24, 2016. My days have become ticking off check boxes. I wake up, I eat breakfast, I work on the week's assignments. Tick, tick, tick. I check off each box as tasks are completed. Tick, tick, tick. The clock reminds me there are not enough hours in the day.
October 24, 2016. I sometimes wonder how I got to where I am now. What amalgamation of events led me to this place in my journey. I am happy, yet I am not. I am hopeful, yet I am riddled with cynicism. I look for the silver lining, yet I only see the cloud. That is where I am now.