Sometimes you’re just simply at a low point in life. You’re low on faith and confidence - faith in yourself, others and the circumstances going on around you. Maybe you feel like you’re no longer in control of your life and what happens to you. Whatever is going on, you can’t quite put your finger on it. To me, this is the worst: when you don’t know what’s going on and what’s wrong.
Whether it is a class that you’re failing or just one of those days that you wake up late and then your tire is flat when you get out to your car; it all sucks, any of it could set you off.
Life happens sometimes and you find yourself low on everything. You just want to be alone and do your own thing. You aren’t upset with anyone, being around people just takes too much effort. It's all you can do to go to class, work and take care of any other responsibilities that you absolutely have to because adulting is hard.
When I’m in one of these moods I don’t eat, I listen to music when I walk around campus so that I don’t have to talk to people, I sleep a lot and I pretty well stay to myself in my room. When you’re this emotionally and mentally exhausted and you don’t even know why; doing the bare minimum is about all you can do.
What makes this worse? People asking you what’s wrong or what’s up, because you don’t know. You don’t always know why you feel this way. I’m not saying being concerned or seeing what’s up with a friend is wrong, it’s just hard to be asked that over and over again - particularly when you’ve been asking yourself that question and can’t come up with an answer for yourself. This is the most frustrating part.
Be thankful that these people can pick up that something’s wrong and are willing to check in on you. It is hard being asked this question over and over. I know. But not everyone has friends or family that want to be there for them.
When you’re having these feelings you feel like you’re in a hole that you can’t get out of. No matter what you do, whenever you have accomplished what you set out to do and there is a light at the end of the tunnel, the rug is pulled out from under you. It’s OK to ask for help. It’s OK to reach out to someone who cares. I’m fortunate enough to have some of the best friends are who are always willing to come to me pizza in hand to listen to whatever is going on. Cling to these people and keep them around forever. That’s what I plan on doing. It’s not that easy to get rid of me when I like you, after all.
