When your best friend has special needs, it is your right to put an extra emphasis on the "special." In my case, you may even call them a soulmate. Now, I believe that soul mates aren't only designated for romantic relationships. The only romance that occurs in our relationship is the occasional slow dance that we share when a song from Shrek comes on. Sometimes, I even get the pleasure of having a dance with Shrek himself (but in stuffed animal form of course). If you can't tell, my boy has a soft spot for Shrek.
Often times after these dance sessions, we plant ourselves on the ground somewhere to watch hours upon hours of movies on his portable dvd player. This means hours upon hours of hearing him talk about all his favorite characters and watching him slap his forehead and yell "oh no!" as the problem uprises in his favorite film. It truly never gets old. Most of these movies consist of Elmo and Shrek,(surprise, surprise) but there are also a number of Japanese and Miyazaki anime thrown in. Don't worry if you've never heard of these, I hadn't either. If you have, even better, you understand how deeply lovable they are. Many times during our sessions of sitting on the floor, I would imitate the characters of his movies in an over-exaggerating way complete with silly facial expressions and flailing arms. I don't do this just to look ridiculous, even though I do. I do it because every single time, he cracks the most genuine smile and lets out a burst of laughter. In this moment, you see the sides of his mouth twitch up a little bit as he tries to hide it but somewhere in the midst of anticipation, he cracks.
But not all of our little moments are so bright. Part of his "special" includes the opposite of laughing and dancing. This side of our friendship is the tears, the anger, the tension; this is the kicking, the fitting, the spitting. It's the saying "I was wrong" even when you don't want to. Seeing your best friend in this state is truly heart breaking, no one likes to see someone they love in distress. But what's even worse is the looks. The faces of disgust. The parents pulling their kids away and covering their eyes as if they will be scarred by the realities of a disability. What they don't see is the way he will clean up after his mess and apologize to everyone he made uncomfortable after a fit. They don't see the way he will just go back to his normal life of movies and snacks because he knows he fixed what he had done. He cleaned the windows he spat on and apologized to the faces he yelled in. Not everyone can set aside such pride then proceed back into every day life.
As a best friend and a counselor, you have to be this flexible as well. You have to be as oblivious and careless to the looks as he is and you have to easily bounce back into laughter and smiles after you know a fit has been taken care of. You have to love all aspects of "special" and everything that comes with it. And for a friend like him, I wouldn't have it any other way.
