Sorry mom, but I'm putting it on the line. School sucks, and if I had a penny for the amount of times I have considered dropping out... I'd never have to second guess getting guacamole at Chipotle ever again. Like ever.
I've compiled a list of Pros to being a Adult Entertainment Dancer that may make this statement a little more settling, enjoy.
1. I'd always be in extremely good shape
You hound me that my figure will not stay thin forever and all the trips to Torchy's are going to make their debut and start paying rent, but no worries here! When have you ever seen an overweight stripper? That's what I thought.. Dancing burns 443 calories PER HOUR!!! Whaaaat, I know.. Chips and Queso I'm coming for ya, babe.
2. Benefits!
Did you know about half of Dance Clubs offer health benefits, including vision coverage (not that I need it because I obviously have my eye on the prize) and at most places there is an on-sight doctor or nurse? (Probably not a true statement but I guarantee there is one working their way through med school, am I right?)
3. Odd Hours
You see, mostly I'll be working a night shift so I can have all day to spend with you whilst you enjoy retirement with the boat-loads of cash I'll be bringing home! We can try those new brunch spots you're always seeing your friends at on Facebook, or maybe we can just stay at the house and binge watch Law & Order!
4. Money and time well spent
All those times you drove me back and forth from dance, cheer, and gymnastics practice, every doctors visit for a fall off the beam. Hundreds, honestly probably closer to thousands, spent on private cheer and ballet lessons so I could have the most perfect landing every time and swift pointed toes, and mostly for what? The probability of me becoming a professional back up dancer for Beyoncé is slim to none, but you knew that and yet you did it anyway. Well at least now my splits will be paying my bills!
Last but not least...
5. Social Networking
I know you're worried that if I quit school my connections won't be as solid, and I'm here to ease your mind momma! Plenty of CEO's and people of all backgrounds relish in the entertainment of dancers, that's such a blessing of the industry - you never know who you're going to meet at work that day! I could give the president a lap dance one day, maybe I can convince Justin Bieber to give me a shot on his next album in exchange for tips!
Honestly mom, I'm a smart girl with a bright future. You know if I thought this was a bad idea, I wouldn't do it. For crying out loud if Jennifer Aniston can do it, I don't think your book club will judge you for your daughter just following her idol!!
