When I was a kid, I never imagined myself being a "grown-up." I could picture it and think about what it would be like, but I never thought it would actually happen. But now I'm here ten years later, expected to do all these "grown-up" things. All my meals used to be made for me and it was things like macaroni and dino-shaped nuggets. People used to drive me everywhere as I sat in the back seat. Going on field trips to the zoo used to make me feel grown-up and mature. I thought those times would last forever, but my life as a kid is over, and I have to partake in my adult responsibilities.
I am in college now. There's no more "getting in a single-file line" and following the leader to our next destination on campus. Now, I'm responsible for getting myself up in the morning and making it to class on time. It's a transition that still takes getting used to. I also have to sign my own paperwork. This is big-time paperwork, too. It's not how it used to be back in the day when mom would sign our permission slips to go on those zoo field trips. I have to sign important things, and it's scary and overwhelming.
Speaking of scary and overwhelming... taxes. I remember years ago when my parents brought me along with them to their boring meetings with these people talking about something called "taxes." But this was the first year I ever had to pay them. Honestly, I still don't completely understand them. Luckily, I at least have TurboTax to guide me through the long process I hope I'm doing right. Plus, I got a whole eleven dollars back.
But to make the money needed to pay those taxes takes a job. When I was a kid, I imagined myself as a lot of things. One day I was going to be a veterinarian, a doctor, a firefighter, a racecar driver. Now, I'm a cashier at a grocery store. This is the first job I ever had, and it was terrifying at first. Sometimes I still think I'm too young to have this job, and that it's weird to be making money from a source other than allowance from parents. But then I remember that supposedly I'm an adult now and working is what adults do. But I don't feel like an adult.
When I was a kid before having all this grown-up freedom, I couldn't wait to be free and do my own thing. But now, I wish for nothing more than to be a kid once again. I wish this because I still feel like a kid. I still want my chicken nuggets to be dinosaur-shaped. I still want my parents to drive me everywhere as I make funny faces at people in the other cars. I still want to be able to play in the McDonald's playset with my Happy Meal and not have it be weird. I miss being a kid.
Maybe every other adult feels the same way. Maybe we're all just expected to act like grown-ups when in reality, we all still have those childlike hopes and dreams on the inside. Maybe we never really "grow up." Maybe none of use really know what we're doing with our lives. Maybe we all just play pretend like kids do.
