It's hard to trust things will be okay. It is extremely hard to luck out in some aspects of life. Jobs are hard, as is school, family, and relationships. Sometimes you feel like giving up. I hit a breaking point, I've hit multiple. I remember when I hit rock bottom. Everyone told me to hold on, to keep fighting, but I remember not wanting to fight anymore, so I stopped. I didn't keep fighting. I remember my therapist asking me why I stopped caring to hold on, I told her I wanted it to maybe make me feel something. It didn't, but it made me want to. Here recently I've found myself trying to climb back into that same hole of wanting to stop fighting, and for a few days I did. The only reason I'm still here is because the people around me kept me up. That's the thing with it all. I learned that I will never be left in the dust when it's all said & done, there will be people to pick me back up regardless how many times I fall short of being better.
Life is not always lucky. It's a big world & there's only one God, we can't all get good luck at the same time. You have to hold on long enough for your luck to find you.
After digging myself back out of this giant hole I keep going into, I got lucky. Sometimes, I forget that. I got the job. The family. The guy. The friends. I got the Faith. I got everything.
My luck found me.
I think if things automatically fell how we wanted it to, we wouldn't learn as many lessons as needed. I fell in love with a job I didn't even want in the first place. I found a guy who drives me crazy, in a good way, who I wasn't interested in at the start. I made friends & got close to people who I didn't even care to speak to when I met them. I felt the love of God when I wasn't even sure if I believed he was real.
I understand how hard it is. It took years, it took different therapist & different medications. It took a lot of lonely nights with horribly dangerous thoughts. It took lots of work, many set backs, and countless times of me falling short of happiness for me to find it.
My luck found me. If you're struggling, just hold on long enough for your luck to find you.
Your people will come to you, everything will come to you. Including your luck.
