So recently this thing has come up. I can't really share details about this thing without freaking people out and making a mountain out of what is essentially a mole hill for right now. But that's the thing, this THING has the potential to turn into a mountain. If this thing does develop into something big, my husband and I will be faced with one of the biggest decisions of our entire lives. The reality of the situation (or potential situation) is daunting to think about. This thing is something we have always talked about wanting, but when the potential opportunity actually presented itself, we struggled to see the big picture.

This potential decision has us falling on our knees before God begging for guidance and asking that His will be done and that if he could just clearly show us what we're supposed to do, that we would trust Him boldly with whatever choice He wants us to make. On one hand, we have our comfort zone. We have our comfortable little lives, with our comfortable little routines, our comfortable little marriage, and our comfortable little faith. And on the other hand, we have the biggest change either of us has ever encountered. This change will completely turn our comfortable little lives upside down. This change will put our new marriage to the test. It will require us to rely solely on one another and our God. It could tear us apart or it could give us the kind of marriage that our future children and grandchildren will strive to model. This change would test our comfortable little faith, stretch it to the limits, push it out of the nest and make it fly on its own, if you will. I only thought court reporting school tested my faith (failed that test, by the way), but this, oh this would be so much bigger than that.

Last night we stayed up late talking and praying about this potential mountain. My strong and steady husband confided to me that if we took this change, he is afraid because he feels like he will have no control. I completely agreed with him, and then I began to laugh, because control is just an illusion anyways. We don't have control over anything. We are at the mercy of God's plan. The rug could be ripped out from under us at any time. Our finances could crash, we could lose our jobs, our health could go bad, our house could burn down. We have no control over any of it; we just think we do. Our tiny human minds can't see the big picture, so we feel like we have to hold on to what little control we think we have.

So here's what I'm thinking: even if nothing comes of this mole hill, it feels like He is calling us out of our comfort zone. It feels like He is asking us to follow Him boldly wherever He tells us to go and in whatever He tells us to do. And if by chance the mole hill does become a mountain, I feel like God wants us to take the chance and make this huge life-altering change. I don't know what His plan is. Oh, how I wish I did. Maybe this change is supposed to bring me in contact with some lost people that need to see Jesus through me. Maybe this change is meant to draw me closer to Him, because in reality just the potential for this change has already got me talking to Jesus more than ever. Maybe this change is just a test to see how much we truly trust Him and to see if we will be obedient to what He calls us to.

God, if this change is what you want for us, let us approach it boldly without fear because we know that we have no control and that you hold our world in your hands. And if nothing does come of this, help us to find ways to step out of our comfort zones elsewhere. We radically trust and believe that your plan is perfect and flawless and that whatever happens will be all for your glory. We love you. Amen