So I've lived the last (almost) 21 years of my life as a PK (pastor's kid), and for a number of those years there were struggles that I went through that were less than fun. There would be times that I sought counsel, but it was hard to just hear, "Seek God" or "Give it to Him" or "cue grownup sounds from the Peanuts."

For me, as I mentioned, I have a pastor for a dad. His job is to be preachy for a living (haha, good ole dad). However, I was very fortunate to have a dad that within his preachiness only seeks truth and inspires a realness and is willing to say when it just sucks. That's how he runs his church and that's how he raised us. He raised us to seek out truth and be great questioners. "You don't know the answer? Ask. Figure it out. Seek help. Seek counsel. Find a way to know what is right, and what is honorable to God."

We live more and more in an age of people wanting authenticity and transparency. Those are the words I hear most. But do we actually want that?

I hope so. I really do. But often I worry that we talk a lot of talk.

"We know those truths."

"I know that Jesus is in control." "I know that I just need to give it all to Him."

"I know that He loves me."

"I know… I know… I know…"

Do you?

Here's what I know.

I know that I say those things and I do mean them, but I miss how incredible those truths are.

So a few things come along with hearing those truths:

1. I just want to be heard. I just want you to listen to where I'm at.

Most Christians have those people in their lives that can get pretty preachy at times. You present the problem to them and suddenly you've been transported to some sort of church service and you're the only one in attendance and you have no defense because in church you can't raise your hand to interrupt or ask a question, and so now you're stuck listening to things that you've already heard a million times and know are true, but you can't say that because that would be rude. Right?

This is so hard! We want to listen. We want to just stand there and be willing to be kind and courteous and not strangle the person in the next three to ten minutes, but it's hard.

I want to ask: Why are you giving me this "solution" instead of actually hearing me and talking with me about this? Sometimes when people tell us to cling to Jesus we feel like they're condemning us for talking to them about it instead of God.

Well hold on a moment here. We have been tasked in Scripture to seek out wisdom and teaching. And if we don't we are fools.

Proverbs 12:15 ESV The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.

When we seek wise counsel we are less likely to fall down, and it's a place of safety to seek wise teachers.

Proverbs 11:14 ESV Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

We are called to listen to the advice of wise others, but within that we are to check it always against the Bible so that those things are not just from man, but are from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:20-21 ESV Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

We all have plans, but can you imagine being a businessman or a construction worker or a teacher without first seeking out instructions?

Proverbs 15:22 ESV Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

And also, yes we are called to take our burdens to the Lord, but we're also called to bear one another's burdens.

Galatians 6:2 ESV Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

2. Where do we go from “give it to Him”?

What I will say is I think people will often give out "solutions" because it's what they were handed when they were going through something hard and there are times where they don't know how to be Jesus to someone, and instead just try to send us to Him. Which is honorable, but Jesus gave us each other to fellowship together, and He gave us brains for a reason. Not to mention hearts.

I think we know that we can always go to Jesus, and if you don't know, then I want to tell you that you absolutely can, but sometimes we just need someone to hold our hands.

Rest assured many many people feel the same way you do. And I think that in this new age of millennials, with us not agreeing with how the church used to respond to hard times, it's just going to take us all saying the same thing for a little while so the world can catch up.

A friend of mine recently commented on a video I shared on Facebook. A video where Simon Sinek talks about the millennial problem. Funnily enough (I don't know if it's funny haha, but it's cool), I became a fan of his a little before the video came out because of his insights into leadership and what it looks like to be a good leader. In his video he brings up some great points.

Here’s a very brief summary: Millennials want to make an impact, but for some reason they're still not happy. That's because a piece is missing. To him he puts it down to four things: parenting (getting things just because you want it), technology (putting filters on everything, including what their lives look like), impatience (the amount of dopamine that is being thrown into their systems from instant gratification) and environment (being in our work/home/life and caring more about the year than the lifetime).

I'd encourage you to watch the video. But my friend responded to it on my post and said:

"I feel like he's underselling the purposeless existence that millennials are feeling. I believe millennials are actually sensing the reality that 80% of the careers available to us ARE truly purposeless. They (jobs) DON'T make the world a better place and are often solely focused on making someone else rich. I think our generation is finally saying, 'no thank you. I'd rather be a poor free person than a not-quite-so-poor slave to someone else's endeavors.'"

First of all, so true.

Second of all, it probably seems like I’m off topic, but there is a reason for it.

We are constantly looking for things that will make us happy, or make us wealthy, or make us feel important.

And I absolutely don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but when we’re asking for someone to hear us, and we’re looking for a way through our hardship, sometimes it’s because we’re missing Jesus.

The reason I bring up Simon Sinek’s video and my friend’s response is because I wonder if that’s how we act with everything.

We need to stop looking. He’s already found us.

I suppose what I’m saying is people are missing a piece in life. God absolutely wants to give us the answers, and while we want something physical, we want something more “substantial,” He is there.

James 1:5 ESV If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

My point is knowing truth and driving it hard into our systems.

What does that look like? It's not just when we're dealing with personal problems. It also filters into our work and into others' lives and how we interact with every person and every area of our lives. And we have to ask, do we know the truth?

3. Where is my walk with God actually?

If we're all honest, we're not where we want to be with God. We feel disconnected or on our own path. We feel like He's somewhere else and there's no way of really feeling His presence.

LIES!!

He is NEAR!

Father God sent His Son so that we could know the grace and mercy that He has to offer. We are told a hundred times in a hundred different ways "Go to Him" because that is truth and something that we have incomparable joy and privilege of.

We want authenticity. We want reality. We want transparency.

Here it is:

YOU ARE LOVED!

YOU ARE CHERISHED!

YOU CAN PUT EVERYTHING AT HIS FEET, because He is the only one who can handle it!

I miss this every day. I miss what He has because I say the words, "I know."

What you're going through is probably incredibly difficult! It's probably tearing you apart, in little and big ways. Life sucks! There is pain and there is suffering and there is always going to be more.

But we weren't made for this world, and so we get to have some supernatural help.

A lot of times I'll give myself pep talks (though I haven't really felt very peppy as of late) and one of the coolest things about those pep talks is that because of my relationship with the Christ and the fact that I have the Holy Spirit inside of me, it's actually Him inspiring me and lifting me up, and that's pretty dang awesome.

So where does that leave us?

Ideally it leaves us with hope. The only hope we really have which is in Jesus. And it also leaves us with the fact that He is a big God and you can totally ask Him for somebody who will physically come and hold your hand and He will give you exactly who you need.

So my prayer for you is that those truths that “we know” would always be made fresh and new in your minds, and that we won’t take those things for granted. I pray that He would send wise counsel into your life that would be an incredible blessing. And I pray that when you hear someone “preaching” about “giving it to Him” that you would.

I’ll leave you with this truth because we cannot hear it enough.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 ESV

(This article was inspired largely by aconversation I had with a friend of mine, and I'm very glad for it.)