A Christian not feeling close to God is hard to exactly pinpoint and describe, and maybe that’s because the statement contradicts itself. The entire point of the cross, of Jesus, and of Christianity itself, is of the Son of God serving as the sacrifice that would forever atone for the sins of a sinful world. The design of this religion is that there is NOTHING that could separate us from our creator.
But I also know it does not always feel that way. There are days when it seems like all I can do is go through the motions. There are days when I am sick of the unknown and of the not understanding why. There are days when it’s all just too much, when the promises and prophesies of God seem just beyond my grasp. Maybe you have those days too. If you have ever been like me, a Christian, saved by the blood of Jesus Himself, yet feeling eternities away from God, this is for you.
And if you’ve ever been in that place too, then you also know that in these moments of desperation, it doesn’t feel like there is a solution or a way out. You probably begin to question or even disregard the bible stories you grew up hearing and the Christian song lyrics on the radio. Feeling far from God leaves us stranded on an island, drowning in our situations, questioning everything we thought we had figured out.
But hold on. Who said our relationship with God was supposed to be perfect anyways? Think of how confusing and failed our relationships with our friends and even family can be. The life of every single person is clouded by sin and brokenness, and unfortunately this spills over into our relationships, even with God. And despite His love, glory and perfection, it still takes two to have a relationship. And we tend to mess up our side of things. A lot.
God never demanded such perfection from us. Romans 3:23 reminds us that ALL have fallen short of the glory of God. Later on in chapter 5, it says this:
“but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8 ESV)
I know those are well known verses often quoted, but take a minute to read over those words as though you’re hearing them for the first time. God recognizes our shortcomings, and He loves us despite them. This is the gospel, and the groundwork of having a relationship with God in the first place.
I cling to Psalm 42 a lot. It’s my go-to in my deepest sorrows and times of utter desperation. In verse 4, the psalmist is feeling a disconnect from God too.
“These things I remember, as I pour out my soul; how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.” (Psalm 42:4 ESV)
It seems people have been struggling with feeling far from God since the beginning. In the valleys, it is discouraging to remember when you felt invincible through Christ.
So how does the psalm end, you ask? I think that’s one of my favorite parts about it in that it doesn’t really end, or at least not happily and definitively with the words “The End” and credits rolling like we would prefer. It closes similarly to the way it begins, with the same lines:
“Why are you downcast, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God” (Psalm 42:11 ESV)
The writer of this felt the same as we do. And like us, he was desperately searching in the dark for answers and a solution. And even though in this case the bible does not provide a clear path, I still think we can learn something from this. The truth is, there is no easy answer or solution to seasons where you feel miles from God.
I honestly think it is a side-effect of our human condition, and something that every Christian is going to struggle with from time to time. That being said, in the same way you don’t give up on your best friend after a really bad fight, you don’t just give up on the God who relentlessly loves you just because of a rough patch.
Find the source of the problem. The psalm does not ask the question “why” six times in eleven verses for no reason. Take a minute and ask yourself why. Maybe you have been leaving that bible on the shelf a little too often. Or maybe you’ve let a harmful distraction or addiction creep back into your life. You might be avoiding a call on your life out of fear or anger, or maybe just avoiding God altogether.
Don’t give up. You know God isn’t going to. It’s SO important in times of distance from God to not neglect Him completely. Keep praying. Keep searching. Keep running towards His outstretched arms. When words fail, simply rest in the presence of The One who understands it all. You might even have to write an article about it. Just like the repeated line in the psalm, keep believing that you will one day praise Him again. Keep yearning for that still small voice, and I promise you that seemingly out of nowhere, you’ll realize God was there all along.
