Tonight I went through a box of things from my childhood. Namely, things I kept because they were important to me. Now I realize that they are merely pieces and parts of what my life once was. I started to think back, "When did I stop liking school? When did I stop reading for fun? When did I stop caring about the outcome of an assignment was or what someone else thought?"
As a small child, I remember spending hours locked in my room with piles of books and just reading to my heart's content. When did the magic of a book suddenly not become enough to entertain my mind? It began in middle school; middle school is a crucial point in one's educational career. You are built up to have all this educational freedom and then...you don't. You simply don't have any. Shirts tucked in. Walk on this side of the hall. Heaven forbid you wear anything that looks comfortable. That is when I began to dread school. I couldn't spend hours buried in a book because I had to join the "normal" folks and socialize. I began to become more focused on the things taught outside of the classroom versus inside it. The fights with my mom about how I couldn't wear that shirt because the straps weren't wide enough. The calls with my best friend when her boyfriend broke up with her and the other various middle school dramas. Looking back, I never dreaded the academic part of school. It was my favorite. I dreaded socializing, being ridiculed, having to put on real pants, worrying about socializing too much and then worrying about high school--and that's when the real bomb set in.
High school: It is like a yapping dog on a retractable leash. You have some freedom, but your life is still manipulated by teachers, counselors and, parents. You are constantly being jerked one way or another. "Do this, don't do this, you can't go to college there, you want to stay out HOW LATE??" Those things. High school was when I stopped fighting for my education. I stopped worrying about the bigger picture. I didn't care why a cell needed a nucleus or what it did for our bodies, I just knew that it needed one. I didn't care that the unit circle would be something I would need for many more years. I didn't care or pay attention enough to learn what a comma splice was. Looking back I want to say: WHAT IN THE WORLD WERE YOU DOING? So, after all of this pondering and deep thought I realized, I sat back and let my education control me.
You cannot control the weather in the sky. You cannot control when you catch a cold. You cannot control the man who rear ended you at the supermarket. However, the thing you do have the power to control and change is your education. You have the power to want to learn more, be more and do more. Your education doesn't just say, "Oh hi, here I am to control your life," that is not what school is about and I am afraid that is what our education system is becoming. An education is meant to inspire you to want to think more and ask questions. An education isn't about the clubs you are in, what you wear, or your social groups, because when you graduate (besides college applications), NONE of that matters. No one cares that you had 500 service hours in high school or cheered for your football team, but they do care if you can remember the basics you were taught. School becomes frustrating when we miss a step in the learning process, I am frustrated now because my four years of high school feel practically irrelevant. I slept through it and took for granted the wonderful teachers and educational experiences I had then. I sat back and let my education walk all over me. It is 100 percent my fault and I am the only person who has any power to change it. So to my education: You will no longer walk over me; I will strive to go beyond the here and now to see the bigger picture. It isn't about the stresses over my classes, financial aid, or the mold that may be growing my shower. It is what I learn in the classroom, but more importantly whether I just learn it or I use it.
"I could not, at any age, be content to take place by the fireside and simply look on. Life was meant to be lived. Curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life." -Eleanor Roosevelt
