IN 2010, Drew Dudley gave a Ted Talk about everyday leadership. The entire talk is fantastic, but the biggest takeaway was him explaining "lollipop moments". These are seemingly insignificant moments (like giving someone a lollipop) that dramatically changed your life or made it better. Everyone has a few lollipop moments, but the problem is that often we never tell the person how much of an impact they made on us.

I wanted to take a moment today to talk about one of mine. I've told this person part of the story before, but I don't think I've ever gone into detail of how important it was.

So our story begins in November of 2015, and let's just say I was a bit of a mess. I was in the process of realizing I needed to change majors and I was absolutely falling apart. I was in a near constant state of panic, and cried every day (#sadlife).

One afternoon I went to do observations at a high school and I hit my breaking point. I realized I was going to fail my classes, and for the first time in my life I wasn't able to do something, I couldn't fix this. I got on the train and had a mental breakdown. I was crying my eyes out, IN PUBLIC (something I absolutely never ever do), and couldn't do anything to stop it.

I got off in Elmhurst and wandered around the park, trying to get ahold of myself. I realized that the best option would be to go home. I was going to get on the train and give up. I would withdraw from school, check myself into a psych ward, and try again later.

I felt like a failure, that I couldn't do anything right. If I couldn't even manage to do school right, how could I do my job right? I was broken, and 100% ready to throw in the towel.

And then... I remembered I had a program that night with my Co-RA Mike. We were going to teach people how to knit, and I was the one with all of the needles and yarn. I debated just telling him to grab them from under my bed but that involved navigating the explosion of shit that I called my room.

The only option I saw was that I had to go to the program, I couldn't let him down. So I wiped my face, dusted myself off, and marched myself back to my building. I was cold, shaking from crying so much, and exhausted.

As I came in the building my boss snagged me and asked if I had been up to my room yet. I went off on a rant that this was my first time stepping into the building since I left early that morning so no I hadn't been to my room. She told me to go upstairs, and I would be happy with what I saw.

Cold, shaking, exhausted, and now confused, I walked upstairs wondering what possibly could be waiting for me. I turned the corner to go to my room and found this taped over my door:

It was RA appreciation week, an event that I was on the committee to plan. And since I was planning it, I was left out of the fun surprising parts (not that I minded because event planning is fun af). And so my staff gave me this. And even though it was from everyone, I knew Mike was behind the entire thing.

Immediately I hightailed it into the bathroom and locked myself in the stall. I expected myself to start bawling again, but instead I just felt quiet. It was a peacefulness that I hadn't felt in months. I thought to myself, "Okay, you might have failed a lot of things. But this job, this right here is something you did right."

The story kind of ends there. I didn't quit school, switched my majors, and got a lot better. I kept that sign in my room for the rest of the semester to remind myself that failing one thing doesn't equate to being a failure. And I owe it all to one of my most favorite humans.

You read my lollipop moment, now go out and share yours.