This is for those of you who need a plan, but appear to not be in control anymore.
For those of you who are sports fans, you could say that my playbook is at a standstill.
For those of you who are into acting and drama, you could say that my scene is unfinished.
For those of you who are scientists, you could say that the scientific method was incorrect.
For those of you reading this, you could say that this sentence isn't complete.
This is what my game plan feels like currently. I am one who needs to be in control of my future and have a plan of what is next to come. Let me tell you that it is killing me to not know what my next five steps are and what the end product is. For those of you reading this in agreement, we may consider ourselves planners or determined individuals or better yet perfectionists. I would say control freaks but we don't need any bruised egos. It is difficult to let go and trust that what is next to come is going to make everything better, that it's going to be the answer to all our prayers, that it's going to be the reason we smile without hesitation. It has taken time, but I have finally realized what I am so scared about....it's the uncertainty. It's the unknown. It's the what-ifs. It's the questions that have no answers.
This is the first time I have had to step back and reevaluate how I am going to allow myself to accept this unfinished game plan that I call my future. These last few months I have had to let go, but these last few weeks have tested me more than I could've imagined. I have to let go and trust that whatever happens next in life is meant to be. I have to have faith that God has a plan for me and it will work out. I have to allow myself to accept the uncertainty with open arms. I have to believe that right now I am where I am supposed to be and that everything else will fall into place. I have to do these things for myself and for those in my life.
Your time will come again where you will feel in control, it may not be a week from now, maybe not even a month from now, but it will happen when the timing is right. Just believe that everything is happening for a reason and more importantly believe in yourself.
So here is what we are going to do. For all of you who need that control but don't have it right now, I want you to let go and accept what is to come. I know that may be asking a lot, but it is what I am asking of myself and trust me when I say if I can do it, so can you. I want you to breathe, to make a list of all the good in your life, make a list of all your questions that are filled with uncertainty, and read both lists aloud. You don't have to read them to anyone but yourself. Then crumble up the list of questions and throw it away. Keep the list of positives and when you need a reminder that everything is going to work out, read that list, and breathe!