“Wow, your sibling are adopted. What’s that like?"

This is a question I get almost every time I get to that point in a conversation with someone. So, I thought to myself that this would be a good topic to write on. However, I started to think about what it’s like having adopted siblings, and it’s been over 4 years since I first met them. Honestly, at this point, there is honestly nothing different than my siblings that I’ve known since birth. It’s amazing to me how at this point they are so built into my family, and 5 years ago I had only seen their picture on a screen.

So, instead of writing about what it’s like having adopted siblings, I’m going to write about what that process of adoption was like from the perspective of a sibling, so you can see why it’s so crazy to me how life is for me now.

My feelings as a 16-year-old first meeting them at the airport when they came for just a summer were feelings of bubbling excitement with a whole lot of fear. Those feelings of fear melted away when 3 little timid faces walked toward us in the airport.

I remember forgetting that they didn’t speak English and trying to ask them questions. I remember that summer turned out to be amazing, and I remember wanting to spend unending amounts of time with them. My friends would ask me questions, and I would be so proud to tell them about these 3 friends from across the world. After all, it was just for the summer, and they wouldn’t be here forever.

I remember after that summer my parents seriously thinking about adoption. This was a huge surprise for me considering this was not in my dad’s plan at all.

I remember saying I was all in to have them be part of the family, but a small part of me tightened up at the thought of this being a forever thing. I remember thinking about how much money and time it would take and I remember thinking about all times all 9 of us entered somewhere and we made a scene.

However, I shoved those feelings inside and begged my dad to consider. We hosted them again for a month over Christmas time. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but I distanced myself this time. I blamed it on the fact that I was busy with swim practice and school.

I didn’t spend as much time with them, and that led to them asking “Why doesn’t Emma like us anymore.”

I would always answer “I do, but I’m tired and busy.”

They were also over the phase of being well behaved. We saw the effects of their past on their behavior. It wasn’t pretty, and I had a hard time comprehending the fact that this was normal for kids with the heavy subjects they had to deal with at a young age.

At this point, we had learned that our 3 little friends were not free to be adopted yet. They still had a mom in the picture, and we were not sure exactly the time span until they would be ready to be adopted. I remember that my parents were all in at this point, and I remember telling them straight out that I wasn’t.

All those selfish feelings that I had before had taken over. I told myself lies that it wasn’t fair for me to get 3 new family members when I was almost 17. I remember telling myself that I wasn’t going to have very much money for college, that my parents were too old to have 3 new children under age 10, that it was going to be embarrassing for me, that my parents wouldn’t have any time for me and my other siblings, and you get the point.

There was a lot of stress in my family from the time they went back to Latvia in January until the summer time. I would fight with my mom. My parents didn’t know what to do because they felt like this is what God wanted them to do, but they also wanted me to be happy.

Also, there were more issues with their mom coming back and trying to get involved, so my parents didn’t know how long this process would go on. Adoption stories always seem so happy and uplifting. You don’t here about the pain and the stress and the tears.

I’m not sure when everything started looking up, but it did. God starting showing me that he calls us to care for orphans. It looks different for everyone, but it’s not a suggestion. He showed me that our life is SO short and that I was SO selfish. He showed me the picture his adoption for us, and my experiences gave me a much bigger appreciation for his acceptance and love for us. He showed me how much he loved me, and he comforted me with fact that he had a beautiful plan for me.

Through a series of events that year, my heart was softened, and our 3 little friends were freed for adoption. They stayed with us one last Christmas before my parents and brothers made the trip to go bring them home the following March.

So, I can’t just leave it there. Not many people get 3 new siblings from across the world at age 16, so it’s been hard and lonely at times. The past few years have been hard, to say the least. They have been full of temper tantrums, arguing, hurt, questions, and frustration. I sometimes find myself saying what in the world did we do?

However, as time goes my the more fun memories we make, the more laughs we share, the more conversations happen, trust continues to build, and these outweigh the hard stuff. The word family has come to mean so much more to me, and this whole process has taught me more than I could have imagined.

It opened my eyes to a world of pain that broke my heart, it taught me about patience and empathy, and it showed me how to look past people's behaviors to their story.