1. The breakdown

So for the first time in my entire college career, this is the first time I have yet to have a catastrophic mental breakdown. You know, the one where you stress out about failing all the tests you've yet to take, the anxiety attack about the paper you don't have to write, and getting behind in all 9 classes when you are only taking 5. You've got the uncontrollable tears just because someone looks at you funny and you just truly consider dropping out of college to become a stripper. This is not to say that I won't have this breakdown; I'm just saying we all go through it, and I promise.. you WILL make it through it.

2. Recruitment week

Every school that I know of has either already gotten through or is going through Greek rush week. Being at such a large school and seeing recruitment as an inactive member is actually pretty scary. The amount of students not in class, the night-before makeup, the uneven self tanner, and the bed head.. it is a rough look. But ladies and gents, I am here to tell you that bid day is definitely something to look forward to! The stressful day-long parties that last through the entire week are most certainty worth the friends you will make, connections you'll have, and the best sister/brotherhoods you could ask for.

3. Cocaine

In every single one of my classes, my professors talk about cocaine.. ALL THE TIME. Maybe this is directed more toward science/biology/psychology students, but at least once a week we talk about cocaine either as a joke or as a deterant. Not to mention the amount of people of who actually do the cocaine. It truly is baffling. Here is a fun fact that I learned in my drugs and behavior class:

Snorting cocaine diminishes the space between your nostrils and leaves you with a nice hole in your nose.

4. Frats

Oh the joy of the fraternity parties. A bunch of freshman/sophomores and the casual junior/seniors who get drunk and flirt with a girl and find their happily ever after for the night or maybe their constant for a couple of weeks. A time where you can go to a frat house and learn all about them based on their music choice, their beer, their cleanliness, and how much fun you’re actually having. But there is always that ONE bathroom that you’re advised to stay away from.

5. The Juul

Fun fact: Ole Miss prohibits Juuls.

I don't really understand why they are so often used by almost every college student I see. I am not even kidding when I say that almost every person I walk past on campus or who I walk behind carries a Juul. I mean, maybe I'm just “old" and I don't try something just because the norm says I should conform to the trend. People say they like it because it gives them a buzz... but y'all, would your momma be happy about this?

6. The realization that you have to get your life together

So by now, you've probably had a few (or several) hungover Fridays and Sundays and maybe even Mondays and Tuesdays. You've possibly failed your first test(s), made a few bad decisions, binge watched way too many shows, and then it hit you.. it is nearing the middle of the semester, and you only get so many tests in each class to keep or get those A's that make it look like you're not doing everything that is at the beginning of this piece.

Well don't worry, everyone is panicking right there along with you, especially the seniors. But don't stress yourself out, that will do no one any good. Just collect yourself and organize your days. You can still have fun and make bad decisions and binge watch all the new movies that Noah Centineo is in; just organize it all so you can still make time to make those grades!

7. Midterm tests

Like you just read, it's nearing the middle of the semester, which means midterm grades are going to be posted any week now. Ole Miss is the only school I have ever gone to that actually posts midterm grades. So last semester I had a reality check when I realized I didn't start out so hot in the beginning assignments, which in turn would make it difficult to result in halfway decent grades. I certainly benefited from this realization because it is not a good feeling when you get two tests in and realize you have no chance at making the grades you so aspirationally entended to make the week before school started.

8. THE test 

Ahhh, the topic that needs to be kept primarily PG-13 because I have little sisters and a younger brother who will be reading this. So, either you or someone you know has been freaking out because they are late and overly emotional. Or maybe you're the dude in this and you don't think there is anything to worry about because you removed yourself from the equation at jussst the right time. Well, let me tell you something. I have been in a few stores these last few weeks, and the shelves are nearly empty when I go in there. I expect food shelves to be empty, but when the contraception shelf is nearly fully stocked, and the test shelf is nearly empty, I can only shake my head that you people didn't listen in fifth grade during sex-ed.

9. Fakes 

To the freshmen ordering fakes that cost way too much money and the rest of you getting them taken because you try to get into a 21+ bar, I promise you that you don't want to buy a fake. And here is why: You are constantly nervous to go into a liquor store afraid they will take it, the barcode on the back hardly ever scans when they actually check your ID that way, and there is no point in trying to get into a 21+ bar because they really aren't that different or any more fun from the regular bars. So, just get your friend to slip you their wristband and save yourself the money.

PSA: Oxford bars are supposedly going to start scanning your ID.

10. Long coffee lines 

It is undeniable; there are predominantly four times during the fall semester that the Starbucks coffee line is unreasonably long. When the school year starts and all of the determined minds are eager to get good grades on that syllabus quiz. Then you have midterm week- gotta pull that all-nighter that lasts until 12:30 in the morning. As always, pumpkin this and pumpkin that is all the rage when the temperature drops below 92 degrees. And lastly, finals week when the lines are forever long and everyone and their mother and brother and sister figure out that they need to make a 156 on the final to make an A in the class.

11. Breakups 

Last but not least, what everyone wishes wouldn't happen. I cannot tell you how many people have turned their status update notification to private but who still change their profile picture to just them. Then everyone goes and investigates and realizes that the couple did in fact breakup. Then you start thinking that if they didn't work out then love really must not exist because they were literally perfect for each other. Then you play the waiting game to see how fast the rebound is, how quickly they get back together with the ex, or you see how great that breakup was for the individual and they bloom like the perfect little flower they are.