When classes start, we all handle it different. Some spend the night out on a date trying to jump from one roof top to another to impress someone only to fall and get stuck #PittSpiderman. Some stock up on school supplies and pour over the syllabus. The first day of classes is like grieving or making a cup of FroYo - everyone does it different. How prepared you are for the day and semester will vary. For now - here's what your school supplies have to say about you.
1. Agenda - You're probably a female. You're also organized AF and you take pride in that. Bonus points if it's Lilly or Kate Spade design. You have your day scheduled right down to the minute your mental breakdown will hit. You need to know exactly when to be at chapter, practice and work. No wonder you're a borderline alcoholic - you're so damn busy that when you let lose, it's a shit show.
2. Gel Pens - Between internships and paying bills, you're desperately trying to hold onto your childhood. Or at least, just your lack of required responsibility. You probably own a choker necklace and at least one ironic Lisa Frank supply, or something of the 90's variety (personally, mine would be my Sailor Moon backpack). Your friends call you when they need to take straight shots of tequila and you've skipped class because you were too hungover/still drunk more times than you'd like to admit.
3. Actual textbooks - You either take yourself too seriously, you're a freshman, or in nursing school. There is no in between.
4. Five Star notebooks - You're taking a shit ton of math/science based courses. Notes and coffee are your life blood. More likely than not, you can have a damn good time at the bar, but when it comes to passing classes you're a boss. You probably hold a 4.0 or close to it. People come to you for help in class and out.
5. A notebook with puppies/kittens/sports logos/etc. - You kinda try, you kinda don't. You've changed your major at least twice already, and to be honest, you still don't know what you're doing with your life. You'll get it together eventually, but for now, you'll stick of getting drunk on Monday nights at a bowling alley with Natty specials.
6. LiveText - You're an education major and have to physically stop yourself from punching someone in the face when they complain about writing a two page paper. Try writing a unit plan! Try waking up at 5:45am for a whole semester to observe a high school class! Try accepting that if you do end up teaching you'll never make enough money to support a family! You like fun stickers and hands on activities as much as anyone, but you take no shit from anyone, ever. Your friends are a little afraid of you.
7. An instrument - You're in marching band and you're either awesome or obnoxious. Again, there is no in between. You're a sick bastard that actually looks forward to band camp. That or you have nothing else to do in your spare time. Saturday's are for performances, losing your voice at a football game and getting hammered after. Negative points if you're in the trumpet section.
8. A beer - You're a senior or you're in a fraternity. Possibly both. Bonus if you're in your fifth year. You know that at this point you're either going to graduate or you're not, so why not enjoy the ride. You also read too much TFM/TSM. Adulthood is going to be a rough transition for you, but you won't be alone. Your easy going nature makes people want to be around you even if you do get drunk at inappropriate times.
9. A wine glass - Shonda Rimes is your Queen. You literally tolerate no bullshit and you're also probably obsessed with Amy Shaumer. The smallest inconvenience in your day prompts the purchase of a big ass bottle of Barefoot. You know you're basic and that's the way you like it, dammit.
10. A calculator - You poor soul. We'll pray for you.
11. Post It Notes - One step below Agenda. Your life is most likely a mess and you're not sure if it's getting any better. At least you have vodka.
