What Your Favorite Jam Or Jelly Says About You
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What Your Favorite Jam Or Jelly Says About You

Next time you want to get to know someone quickly, just ask them about their favorite jam.

Catherine Lewis
Mar 28, 2017
University of Florida
1722
What Your Favorite Jam Or Jelly Says About You
Today I Found Out

Recently, some friends and I got into a heated discussion over our favorite kinds of jams and jellies. It got me thinking about what everyone's favorite choices said about them, and as a jam connoisseur, I feel I am qualified to judge people based solely on their favorite fruit spread. I decided to make a comprehensive list so that you too can learn to judge people based on jam.

1. Grape

Grape jelly lovers are honestly the worst and most simple minded people you will ever meet. Grape jelly is fine when you are four and only eat dinosaur nuggets and PB and J, but as an adult, you should have grown to appreciate something a little more sophisticated. Grape is what you use when you wake up from a coma and wind up in a zombie apocalypse and it's all you can find to survive on. It should not be your go to.

2. Strawberry

At least you made the jump from grape. Strawberry jam is a great favorite, but again you should have grown up and moved on. Strawberry lovers are average and quite frankly a bit boring.

3. Blackberry

Blackberry jam lovers are going somewhere in the world. You are great people that strive to enjoy every part of life. You will not conform to norms. You are your own person, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

4. Raspberry

Congratulations! You are part of the group of the greatest people to walk the world. You have an energy about life and you are not afraid to show it. Raspberry lovers are social and brighten the lives of everyone who comes their way. They have a great taste in jams, and this shows in their everyday lives.

5. Orange Marmalade

Orange Marmalade lovers are as pretentious as they come. Don't get me wrong, a little orange marmalade between some french toast is a great brunch option, but if you are eating orange marmalade everyday then I can only imagine how haughty you are. I can just see your servants pulling out the finest china and polishing the finest silverware just to serve you your daily breakfast.

6. Petroleum Jelly

STOP! You should NOT eat this. No, there is definitely something wrong if you are eating this.


Side Note: I know I could have included Goober, but I prefer to pretend we live in a world where Goober lovers don't exist.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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