If you have eyes, ears, or a caffeine addiction you probably know about the blue-roofed coffee drive-thru known as Dutch Bros. If you're currently wearing a North Face fleece and UGG boots, you probably know all of the baristas by name and the "secret" menu like the back of your hand. But did you know that your drink order says more about your personality than any horoscope or Buzzfeed quiz ever will? IF you're a basic b*tch, that is.
If you order: a White Chocolate Mocha You like it sweet. And you're probably sweet and innocent yourself. You're the kind of person that would chase a shot with a Shirley Temple if it was an option, and that's okay. Own it.
If you order: a Kicker or Annihilator You live to impress others. Why? Because ordering one of these drinks makes you sound cool, edgy, and maybe a little seductive (annihilator? really?), but in reality, neither of these drinks are that good. Oh well, it's worth it. #boss
If you order: a Surprise Rebel Three options: 1) you're indecisive, 2) you're lazy, or 3) you're a player trying to flirt with the barista ("surprise me" *wink)
If you order: a Dutch Frost College has finally broken you. You started the year ordering sugar-free rebels and hitting the rec center every day, but late nights and ten-page term papers have caused you to realize there are more important things than fitting in your skinny jeans. Like milkshakes.
If you order: a Carmelizer or a Cocomo You settle. In relationships, in drinks, in everything. You take the first thing you see, and it turns out to be "pretty good." If only you would have a little faith in yourself and take a leap, you could mix the two drinks and have an amazing German Chocolate latte. But let's be honest, your standards aren't that high.
If you order: a Sex on the Beach You either need a vacation or are trying to prove to the barista that you're not afraid to say sex.
If you order: a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle You're actually a child. But not a cool one; you're one of those people that had a Buzz Lightyear backpack when you were 18 and didn't do it entirely as a joke. If you actually like the taste of this weird, sweet drink, whatever, do you. But really, grow up. You're in college. Order an Archer or House of Cards themed drink or something.
And finally, if you order: a 911 This drink has 6 shots in a small. You either like feeling nauseous and jittery all the time or have a cocaine addiction. Probably the second one.
The end. Time for a Dutch run.
