What Women Think When Men Give Them Fashion Advice They Never Asked For
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

What Women Think When Men Give Them Fashion Advice They Never Asked For

Thanks for the tips, but we don't really give a f*ck.

34
What Women Think When Men Give Them Fashion Advice They Never Asked For
Pintrest

The other day, I unfortunately came across an article entitled “Fashion Dont’s For Girls (According To 35 Guys).” Much like every other clickbait article on the internet, it caught my attention enough for me to dedicate three minutes of my precious time to read it. I went into it knowing that it will most likely piss me off, considering you rarely see an article directed at men, written by women, about how they should live their lives according to our standards. All I received from reading the article was more of an understanding as to why women find it so insanely difficult to be okay with who they are and accept that they are, in fact, beautiful.

So ladies and gentleman, here is a list of things women think when men tell them how to dress when they didn't even ask in the first place.


1. “DON’T wear nose rings, because you look like a cow.”

Last time I checked, cow’s didn’t sport diamonds in their nostrils. Also, last time I checked, we really don’t give a f*ck if you like our nose rings or not. Honestly, I’ll pierce everything on my face if it’ll get you to stay away from me.

2. "DON'T starve yourself to where I can see your ribs."

DON’T ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO STARVE THEMSELVES TO ANY POINT YOU INSENSITIVE MONSTERS. No one is bothering you about your six pack, or lack thereof, so take your body shaming and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine, sweetheart.

3. "DON'T excessively accessorize."

Wow, I’m shocked you even know what it means to accessorize.

4. "DON'T wear uncomfortable shoes."

Last time I checked they weren’t on your f*cking feet, so shut up.

5. "DON'T get plastic surgery."

Hmmm, yet we live in a society that magnifies our insecurities and will never EVER let us forget them. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t, am I right?

6. "DON'T wear so much lipstick that it ends up on your teeth."

Oh, I’m so sorry the lipstick that ended up on my tooth is embarrassing you. Next time I’ll just make sure to leave it there so it makes you even more uncomfortable.

7. "DON'T add blonde streaks to your hair."

I’m not taking any fashion advice from anyone who refers to highlights as blonde streaks.

8. "DON'T wear long, fake fingernails."

But it looks so much better when I give you the middle finger. Nothing beats a nice, manicured f*ck you.

9. "DON'T shave the sides of your head."

Been there, done that and I still pull it off better than half of you do.

10. "DON'T wear high top jeans."

High tops are shoes. Jeans are high waisted and you sound like a f*cking idiot.

11. "DON'T wear lip gloss."

Maybe you should worry more about your credit card payments, finding a wife, or you know anything else, instead of being so oddly obsessed with my face.

12. "DON'T wear those giant glasses."

Oh, I'm sorry, let me just walk around with impaired vision to appease all of the big strong men in the world. Or, I could wear my giant glasses and use my 20/20 vision to get farther in life than any of you superficial dumbasses.

13. "DON'T wear fake eyelashes."

LOL, let’s be honest, you wouldn’t even notice the difference.

14. "DON'T cake your face with too much makeup."

The day that you learn how to contour, or even know what that is, is the day that you can give me any makeup advice whatsoever.

15. "DON'T wear wacky lipstick colors."

Again, whatever it takes to keep you away from me.

16. "DON'T wear high heels."

Ah, I’m sorry does this have anything to do with your height? Either way, don’t tell me what I can and cannot wear on my feet. Just because you're not man enough to deal with a little discomfort, doesn't mean we aren't.

17. "DON'T get tattoos."

I’ll be honest, this is so f*cking dumb that I can’t even come up with a witty retort. So I’ll just insert a very *dramatic eyeroll*

18. "DON'T get a boob job."

"DON'T get breast implants."

Wow you guys must feel really strongly about this one considering you said it twice. Yet i’m still willing to bet that your pornhub account is riddled with people with boob jobs that you absolutely LOVE to look at.

19. "DON'T wear bangs or short hair."

Maybe I’ll just shave my entire head so I can look just like you, maybe then I’ll get some respect.

20. "DON'T buzzcut your hair."

Oh, nevermind. Maybe I’ll just cut my head off completely so I no longer have to deal with you idiots.

21. "DON'T cover yourself in piercings."

I feel like you’re running out of shit to complain about. Aw, you poor entitled f*ckboys.

22. "DON'T dye your hair outrageous colors."

Wow, men seem to feel really strongly about what I do with my hair. Good thing it's growing out of my head and I get to do whatever the hell I want to it.


Now, let's try something new. How about a list of advice for men, written by a woman.

1. DON’T you f*cking dare tell me what to do.

That's all I could really come up with.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

40037
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

24611
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

950451
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

130680
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments