Ah, the infamous question that we’ve heard all too often.

It comes up in all different kinds of scenarios, whether from a friend who’s trying to set you up, a relative trying to embarrass you at a family function, or maybe even a coworker trying to set you up with their son. The question is harmless and in most cases has innocent intentions behind it. But when you really think about it, this is an extremely stupid question to ask, and an even more stupid question to answer.

Many people answer this question along the lines of, “baseball player”, “musician”, “someone who lifts weights”, and so on. Notice these answers are all affiliated with a specific group of people, as though whoever answered these questions will only date someone if they fall into that category of people.

Along this point, having a “type” is so incredibly narrow-minded it hurts to think that some people actually believe this. And even worse, hold true to their specific “type”. It is completely understandable for people to be interested in certain characteristics in males or females, like if someone shares similar hobbies as you. But to say that you have a “type” consisting of a generalized group of people is just silly. Stupid. Wrong. By saying that you have a “type”, you are saying that you have a pre-defined pool of candidates that you would dip into whenever you are looking for someone. And just that pool. No others. Which is not the case for most (if not all) people. That’s just ridiculous.

You shouldn’t narrow your options based on whether or not someone plays a sport, instrument, has a specific hair color, whatever your weird condition may be. Have you ever heard of the phrase, “Don’t judge a book by its cover?” Same rule applies here.

So, the next time someone asks you what your “type” is, I suggest you

(1) ask them if they support stereotypes and making generalizations about specific groups of people, because that is what “types” do, and

(2) respond with one (or multiple) of the following:

• My type is someone who genuinely expresses interest in me, and has the desire to get to know me better.
• My type is someone who is constantly trying their best to make me laugh and smile.
• My type is someone who makes me happy.
• My type is someone who sees my flaws, accepts them, and doesn’t try to change them.
• My type is someone who treats me with respect.
• My type is someone who I can be 100% myself with and not have to act or pretend about anything.

Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

No more of this “lacrosse player” or “guitarists” nonsense – I petition to put a stop to this. It’s fine to say you are attracted to boys who play lacrosse or play the guitar, but don’t sell yourself short to say that’s your “type” and that is the only group of people who are interested in. Your “type” is anyone who makes you happy, whether they carry a lacrosse stick or not, because that’s really the only thing that matters.