Headed to the Big Apple? Make sure you don't miss out on the best things the city has to offer!

1. Visit the Statue of Liberty.

Take a trip over to this symbol of American patriotism for a guaranteed good time. This bodacious beauty has it all: green skin, a torch, and pigeon shit. Feel the power of your ancestors' course through you as you behold her heavenly glow. Countless weary travelers searching for a new life in America have passed in front of her discerning gaze. Look up. Stare into her eyes and begin to scream the national anthem at the top of your lungs. Don’t worry – everyone else will join you with shrieks of their own. Welcome to America.

2. Head on over to Katz's Deli.

An NYC must-visit! Katz’s Delicatessen is located right next to Houston and Avenue A. Originally founded as a meeting place for Satanists, the deli has since become an American classic. A few shady characters still hang out around the place, but as long as you tape an upside-down cross to your forehead you’ll be perfectly safe. My personal favorite – the Reuben! Be careful: the sandwiches are pretty large, it’s a cash-only establishment, and there are occasionally bloody Bible pages in the fries.

3. Check out the Empire State Building.

Williamsburg hipsters love to talk about their new favorite hole-in-the-wall, but you’ll blow them all away by mentioning this low-key dive spot. It’s easy to miss, but if you can manage to spot the entrance then you’ll find yourself in one of NYC’s most underappreciated wonders. Taste authentic Mexican cuisine at the all-organic Chipotle restaurant tucked away between the Starbucks and FedEx. Looking for a spectacular view? Take the stairs up to the second floor for a dazzling look at the adjacent street. Woah!

4. Fall in love with a homeless man.

Take more than a few steps outside in NYC and it’s hard to miss seeing a few people down on their luck. Don’t forget – homeless people are just like us. They need attention. They need care. They need love. Specifically, from you. Don’t you dare visit the Big Apple without wining and dining at least one homeless man. You can’t expect them to pick up the bill, but you can be certain that you’ll fall into a fairy-tale romance with the man of your dreams.

5. Walk other people's dogs.

The city that never sleeps is also the city of a million dogs! From Washington Square to Central Park, there are dogs abound. If you see someone walking more than a single dog, they probably don’t need them all. If you get a running start then you’ll easily be able to snatch a few from them and take off into the streets. Give the pup a good workout! After a nice jog, return the canine to their owner with a wink and a smile. Congratulations, you good samaritan!

6. Tell everyone, "Hey I'm walking over here!"

This one is a no brainer. Unless you’re looking to empty your wallet on expensive taxi cabs, then you’re in for a whole lot of walking when you visit Manhattan. In a city with millions of people, you’re going to find yourself surrounded by crowds nearly everywhere you go. If you do choose to walk, it’s going to be vital that people are aware that you’re doing it. Tap people on the shoulder as you pass them. Once they acknowledge you, make sure to tell them that, “Hey! I’m walking over here!” If they don’t respond, it’s because they didn’t hear you. Tell them again. Louder.

These tips and tricks should make for the perfect trip to NYC. Happy travels!