When I moved to continue my education, I moved four hours from home, and I was so scared of being alone. Hell, I am still scared. Being alone for the majority of your days can sometimes allow for things to creep in like anxiety, fear, or shame.
One day the idea of going to therapy crept in my mind. "What if it helps me? What if it hurts me? It's just all so much to think about."
After weeks of contemplating, I finally decided to make an appointment. Going to the appointment was a different story. I wanted to back out so bad. I didn't want to face the person I have become. I didn't want to try to deal with the things that bother me when I'm alone. But I didn't back out. I went. Even though I was shaking and highly anxious, I went. It was finally time to acknowledge who I have become.
I haven't been in therapy long, but I would like to share five things I have learned or things that have helped me.
1. I talk about things that bother me that I don't share with anyone else.
It can be so scary, and at first, I didn't think I would be able to open up. The more I went, my therapist made me feel more comfortable around her each time. It's a safe place for me to talk about my deep dark secrets, and that is so liberating. But that doesn't mean it wasn't hard getting to that place because it was.
2. You are only responsible for your shit, not anyone else's.
You can only be responsible for how you react and how you feel. I know it can be hard when other people around you are having a bad day, and they take it out on you. It's important to remember that you are in control of the way you feel and not others.
3. It's okay not to be okay
I know this phrase gets tossed around a lot, but honestly, it gets me through the days when I feel like everything is falling apart. Sometimes you have a day that sucks, and you aren't okay. What's important is realizing that sometimes you aren't okay, and that's okay. No one has their life together, regardless of what their Instagram says.
4. You are not your feelings
Man, emotions can sometimes be so strong and overpowering. But you aren't the way you feel. Emotions are fleeting. You have to stay grounded in who you are and not let your emotions rule your decisions.
5. Healing takes time
We want instant results. Instant results are not realistic, though. True healing takes time. As much as I wish I could go to three sessions and be better and cope properly, it's not that simple. There is so much to a person and their personality and what makes someone who they are. It's vital to take time and realize what makes you, you.
I know you've been thinking about going to therapy or counseling. I also know it is scary. Being vulnerable is one of the scariest things to do yet one of the most freeing. Vulnerability is one of our greatest assets, and it is never a weakness. Let me say it again; vulnerability is not a weakness. For a long time, I ran from things, and that affected so many of my relationships in my life. I finally decided I needed help dealing with my past so I can have a better future. Wherever you are in your life, you aren't alone, even though it may feel like you are. You matter. Your pain matters. Let someone help you talk through it.
