I, along with a lot of other people my age, deal with body image issues, low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc.
My whole life, I've been small. I know I'm small, technically, because I wear a size small, or extra small, or a size 0 or a size 2, or I even wear clothes from the kids' section. I'm small, and I know this.
I barely surpass 5' tall and the largest size I've ever needed to purchase in clothing was a 4, a size I know that in no means is a large size.
Yet, somehow, I, like many other "small" people, feel fat when I look in the mirror.
Sure, some of this can stem from the influence of fitness influencers (or influencers in general). We all scroll past picture-perfect people with picture perfect lives all day. We compare ourselves to these celebrities or people who dedicate their free time to looking good.
It surely does not help that I am in a season of my life where I am working, still juggling school on top of working, stressed about this juggle and the fears of the future post-graduation, and thus am prone to unhealthy stress eating and sluggishness during my free time. I don't want to do anything on my days off, so, a lot of the time, I don't.
I am at a weight that is higher than I have ever had it. Am I overweight? No. Is this still the largest I've ever been? Yes.
We are in an era of comparison both to the people whose jobs are to look good (models, influencers, celebrities, etc.) and then the people who show up in our Facebook memories or Timehops.
We see the photos of how we looked a year ago today, two years ago today, three years ago today, so many years ago today, when we weren't stress-eating all day or when we participated in school sports every day or when we had someone else to buy our groceries.
Guess what? We probably don't look like the girl from two years ago... And that's OK, but sometimes it's hard to feel OK when you look in the mirror and see cellulite for the first time. And that's OK too.
Every body is a good body, and we should all be striving to understand and accept that, no matter how different it looks from our own old body or someone else's body.
For eating disorder help, here are a few links to hotlines and services.