Fat Shaming and Skinny Shaming Are The Same thing

To Everyone Who Has Ever Called Me ‘Too Skinny’ — Please Stop — I Never Called You 'Fat'

Believe it or not, it's not every girl's goal to be a size 0.

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It's never good enough, is it? I'm not allowed to call myself too thin without being criticized for being ungrateful for my size 0 body. But you're allowed to call me too thin to my face and make me feel wrong in my own body? I don't think so.

Not once would I ever be ok calling someone fat, so why is it socially acceptable to tell someone to their face that they are too skinny?

You don't know why this person is as skinny as they are. You have no idea what this person struggles with, maybe they don't want to be as thin as they are. The assumptions and labels are toxic, humiliating, and unappreciated.

I've always been a string bean.

As a kid, I was some bony, lanky girl who never ran out of energy. I became involved in gymnastics and before I knew it, I was training nearly five hours a day, five days a week. As one might imagine, the intense workouts kept me in shape but I was still extremely thin. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing when I was younger. I was healthy in the sense that I was growing, and I was getting stronger.

However, I was quite tall, not just for a gymnast, but also for my age. Given my height, my weight needed to be at a certain level, and I've struggled in the past to keep the balance between the two.

I remember one day, one of my gymnastics coaches told me to start incorporating these shakes into my diet in order for me to gain some extra baggage.

They didn't work, but they tasted fine at least.

I remember the day I stepped on the scale and it said I weighed 100 lbs for the first time. I was so proud of myself and I couldn't wait to tell my coaches I had successfully gained some weight.

At my peak in the sport, I weighed my heaviest, but I was still thin. The weight I gained was pure muscle, which made me feel strong and capable, Due to severe injury, I quit the sport when I was seventeen, and I quickly lost weight I had worked so hard to gain.

Because gymnastics stunts your growth, I grew even taller after I quit, all the while, I was becoming skinnier. I lost about 15-20 lbs, all muscle.

I am now 22 years old. Today, the struggle is real. I live in this world where people who look like me are praised for their appearance. People starve themselves and work out endlessly in order to be as thin as they desire. Not to mention, I live in Los Angeles...the ideal place for being a tall, thin, young woman.

Well, I'm over it. I go to the gym a few times a week in order to build back muscle and gain weight.

Repeatedly, people have referred to me as "body goals" but my goal is far from their perception of me and my body.

People think it's easy and my response to that is always the same: STFU. You don't know me or my continuous struggle with weight and body image. People tell me it's simple, just eat more. Well, when you suffer from digestive issues, your body may be like mine, where there's limited appetite or a complete rejection of food altogether. Believe me, I want to eat...but sometimes my body just makes it difficult.

I understand everyone has their own struggles, that's a part of being human but not everyone shares the same struggles and it is no one's place to judge one problem from another and label it more serious or important. My own health problems are serious and important to me. You may want to be as skinny as me and that's fine but me not wanting to be as thin as I am is my own personal choice.

So stop telling me to complain. I'm thinner than I want to be. That's my prerogative and right to be unsatisfied, and no one should tell me otherwise.

No one should comment on your body weight ever unless it's meant as a compliment. Although I wish I wasn't this thin, when people compliment me on my body, I turn it positive. Even though I know they're complimenting me on how thin and fit I am, I pretend they're complimenting me on how strong I'm getting, on how hard I'm working to become healthier.

Everyone wants what they can't have. I've come to terms with the fact I'll likely never be a curvy woman or anything near. That's ok, I just strive for good health and a positive mindset. I don't need to be anything anyone is telling me to be. Like, I said, I never called you fat and I never told you to lose weight.

Society can be twisted, backward, and humiliating. Especially in Los Angeles, there's this one image of what ideal womanhood is. Luckily, we are entering a time when previously challenged social identities are being welcomed. Still, the industry is powerful. Imagery and words are powerful and can be painful.

NOBODY AND NOBODY IS PERFECT.

Everyone's story is different. We're not all meant to be the same size. Not everyone has the same goal. Not every girl wants to be a size 0. Please remember that the next time you call a girl too thin, because you have no idea what she may be going through.

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A list Of 15 Inspiring Words That Mean So Much

A single word can mean a lot.
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Positivity is so important in life. A lot of times we always go to quotes for empowerment but I have realized that just one word can be just as powerful. Here is a list of inspiring words.

1. Worthy

Realizing your self-worth is important. Self-worth can really make or break a persons personality. Always know that you are worthy of respect. And also, never compare yourself to others.

2. Courage

Be courageous in life. Life has so many opportunities so do not be scared to grasp any opportunity that comes your way. You have the ability to do anything you have your heart and mind set to do, even the things that frighten you.

3. Enough

When you are feeling down and feeling that nothing you do is ever good enough, know that you are more than enough. And yes there is always room for improvement but when it comes to my self-worth I always have to remind myself that I am enough.

4. Blessed

Be thankful. A lot of times we forget how blessed we are. We focus so much on stress and the bad things that are going on in our lives that we tend to forget all of the beautiful things we have in life.

5. Focus

Focus on your goals, focus on positive things, and focus on the ones you love. Do not focus on things that will keep you from not reaching your goals and people that do not have good intentions for your life.

6. Laugh

Laughing is one of the best forms of medicine. Life is truly better with laughter.

7. Warrior

Through the good and the bad you are a warrior. Be strong, soldier.

8. Seek

Seek new things. Allow yourself to grow in life. Do not just be stuck.

9. Faith

During the bad times, no matter the circumstances, have faith that everything will be all right.

10. Live

Start living because life is honestly way too short. Live life the way you want to live. Do not let anyone try to control you.

11. Enjoy

Enjoy everything that life has to offer. Enjoy even the littlest of things because, as I said before, life is short. And plus, there is no time to live life with regrets.

12. Believe

Believe in yourself and never stop. Believing in yourself brings so many blessings and opportunities in your life.

13. Serendipity

A lot of times we look for things to fill an empty void that we have. Usually what we are looking for comes when we are not looking at all. Your serendipity will come.

14. Create

Share your ideas with the world. Creativity brings change to your life. However you chose to use your creativity do not be scared to show your intelligence, talent, and passion.

15. Love

The world is already full of so much hate, so love unconditionally with all your heart.

Cover Image Credit: Tanveer Naseer

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My Experience Getting The Nexplanon Implant

Why I got this form of birth control and what you need to know if you are considering it.

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There are many different reasons for a woman to be on birth control; whether it is to prevent pregnancy, regulate periods or clear acne, each woman uses birth control for different outcomes. Although there are many opinions surrounding birth control, it is an important subject for women to be educated on in order for them to individually make the best decision for their health and lifestyle.

There are many different forms of birth control, both hormonal and non-hormonal, including the everyday oral pills, the IUD, the patch, the implant, the ring and many more. The most common hormonal contraceptives include the hormones estrogen and progestin, or a combination of both, and each hormonal combination can affect every woman in a different way, so as a disclaimer, my birth control experience will most likely differ from every other woman's.

I have been through a rollercoaster of side effects, emotions, and changeS for more than two years due to being on and off of birth control pills. Finding the right combination that reaped the side effects I could handle was difficult. I was on an estrogen-only pill for most of my freshman year of college which cleared my face, did not effect my weight and had good physical benefits for my anemia. Although I couldn't complain about the physical side effects, I decided to stop using this form of birth control due to the anxiety it caused.

Many women struggle with a change in mentality because of birth control hormones and although it can be manageable, there are so many other options and combination of hormones that can allow for a happier mental state. After months of research and conversations with my gynecologist, I decided to go on Nexplanon, which is a small hormonal implant that lasts up to three years.

The main reasons I chose the Nexplanon implant were how it would affect my anemia and mental state, as well as the reliability of not having to worry about taking a pill the same time every day. This decision was not made lightly because Nexplanon is not a form of birth control that I can stop taking or remove easily since it is surgically placed beneath the skin. Nexplanon contains the etonogestrel hormone which, because of its location, releases a low dose into the bloodstream over the course of three years.

The side effects concerning menstrual cycles vary from no bleeding at all to light spotting and even to heavy bleeding. Every woman who receives the implant has a different chemical balance in her body, therefore a doctor cannot accurately predict the patterns and side effects that will occur within a recipient of Nexplanon.

The insertion procedure involved my doctor marking the area where the implant would be placed, sterilizing the location, numbing the area with an injection and inserting the implant with its corresponding applicator. The only painful part of the procedure was the numbing injection, which could be compared to a bee sting lasting five seconds and after that, there was no feeling in my arm. The implant was placed in my non-dominant arm due to the bruising and pain that would be experienced during the healing process. The day of the insertion, I experienced the most pain due to the discomfort of the bruising and sensitivity of the area, but every day after that, my arm recuperated very quickly.

Overall, I made the right decision for my mind and body by choosing to get the Nexplanon implant. If you are experiencing any mental or physical side effects that you do not favor, talk to your gynecologist in order to discuss changing your birth control method, or if you are considering starting birth control for the first time, do your research and make sure you make the right decision for you.

Every woman will experience different side effects on the same forms of birth control, so make sure to never judge a method on reviews because your body could react differently. Birth control is not a subject to shy away from due to the benefits it yields on young women, especially in college, and starting or switching birth controls for the safety and happiness of your lifestyle is always an option to consider.

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