What The Love Language Of Receiving Gifts Really Means

What The Love Language Of Receiving Gifts Really Means

This love language is highly misunderstood.

This is probably the toughest love language to justify, but unfairly so. Many people will simply see this love language as selfishness or materialism but it is not always the case. For people that have this love language, receiving gifts is a way for them to understand and truly believe that the love is thoughtful and true. Some people need the visible symbols of love to feel the connection between themselves and their partner.

Receiving gifts is the love language for people that feel cared for and provided with another person’s energy. What I mean is that we highly appreciate the energy in the giver’s thoughts behind the gift. To us, when we receive a gift we think: “ Oh my, this person must really have thought about me and what I like. This person is making the effort to think like I do because we are in a serious, monogamous relationship. This person loves me because this is physical proof that he is thinking about me, and is not afraid to put his feelings for me above his wallet. How kind of him to show me that he puts me above himself, what a considerate, thoughtful, and romantic gentleman”.

These gifts do not have to be expensive. They are not supposed to be thought of just as price tags. If so, you just have a gold digger. The higher the cost, does not mean the higher the appreciation. Stating this, a balloon can be more precious to me than a purse. It depends on the context. The more “surprising” and meaningful, the more it will be remembered. Of course quality is helpful, but in reality it just needs to catch us off guard to be precious.

For more considerate individuals, this is often a touchy subject. We don’t like to demand for gifts. The more natural the gift was given (as in the giver was not asked to, or hinted for, or begged), the more appreciative and loved we feel. We feel the thoughts of the giver through the act of receiving (similar to how some animals are attracted to partners that provide a token of affection). For people like me who have this love language as important, it will be hard for you to be in relationships where this is not understood or considered for. Continuous neglect with tokens of affections will cause for a rough relationship as both people will not able to express and understand love in the same manner.

If your significant other is not good at gifting, it will be very hard for you. There is nothing wrong with us to feel a disconnect in the relationship if it is not met. If neglected for too long, we will think and feel as if we are not beautiful or worthy enough. For me, I thought that maybe I didn’t deserve these things because I am not beautiful, feminine, or lovely enough. I hated to think this way, but it is a genuine feeling that was and is hard to overcome. For people that place great appreciation in this love language, it is very hard to explain just as it is hard to be understood.

We value people that realize and accept this about us. The people that make the effort to understand how we actually feel, or feel the same way we do are the best partners for us because there is a level of mutual connection and understanding. Gold diggers are not who we are, and we hate to be compared to it because it is not who we are. We are people that understand love through unspoken physical representations of thoughts. We do not demand or beg, we just wish and hope. We hope for our partners to express themselves spontaneously, and naturally with loving thoughts.

Don’t judge us in the wrong way. You will know if you have a gold digger or a neglected loved one. Remember, it is hard for us to discuss as we want it as naturally as possible. We need your expressions of love to be from your own will.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.huffpost.com

Popular Right Now

The Ultimate Guide To Making Your Casual Relationship A Serious One

My relationship is proof that it works.

Are you stuck in a casual relationship that you want to take to the next level? If so, you are in the right place. I know that this can be intimidating, but I'm here to help you along the way. About a year ago, I was in the same position as you. I was seeing this guy just about every week. He would text me asking me to come over to his place. I would always say "yes," and that never failed. It was just an ongoing thing where we just went to his place and I am almost positive his friends did not even know I existed.

SPOILER ALERT: it has almost been a year and I have managed to make that relationship a serious one. I am best friends with his sister. He takes me out just about every weekend. His friends are now my friends. We see each other as much as possible. I am the happiest that I have ever been. The following steps worked for me and I am sure that they will work just as well for you!

Step 1: Ask to hang out more.

If you guys are only hanging out one night a week, ask about seeing each other maybe two times a week. If he/she agrees, this is a great sign and may mean that they are interested in you. Also, the more time you spend with someone, the more they get to know you, and the more they will like you.

Step 2: Try to hang out during daytime hours.

It is kinda weird to just hang out with someone exclusively at night. There are a few exceptions, such as if one of you work a full-time job. But, hanging out during the day definitely gives a *different* vibe.

Step 3: Go public.

Or at least try to. Ask if the other person will run errands with you or even go out somewhere with you. Assure them they you both can pay for your own food, drinks, etc. If they are willing to go, that is a good sign. If they offer to pay, that is an even better sign.

Step 4: Ask about their friends.

Just ask him about who he hangs out with, even if you already know because of social media. This opens up a chance for him to invite you to go somewhere with his friends. It also shows him that you are interested in his life, which will make him more attracted to you.

Step 5: DTR.

DTR aka define the relationship. Okay, so I know this sounds super scary. But seriously, you just need to ask the other person if they think this will turn into something more serious. Don't do it in a weird way. Just do it in a kind of casual way, as if you are asking for their opinion. This will definitely get them thinking about whether or not they want to actually commit. Depending on their answer, you will know whether to drop them or stick around.

Step 6: Be open.

This is so so so important. Just be open about what you are looking for, that way you aren't wasting anybody's time. Plus, they may admire your openness.

These are the steps I took to take my relationship up a notch, and I am happier now than ever. Remember, if you are in a casual relationship, but you want something more, you aren't trapped. You can leave whenever you want to.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash via Becca Tapert

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

A Wake-Up Call To The Guy Who Doesn't See His Girl Is One-Of-A-Kind

Remember: your girl's happiness is important.

There are over 7.6 billion people in this world. But your girl, the girl you are so deeply in love with, she is unique, beautiful and extraordinary. That is what makes her one-of-a-kind.

She listens to you talk, she gives you advice, she motivates you to be the BEST you. She is always there for you, she constantly puts the effort into the relationship, and she never gives up. She never gives up on you when the going gets tough and she will never give up on you because that's the kind of girl she is.

She is the kind of girl that will make sure you are happy and who will never stop trying. She is the kind of girl who wants to spend the rest of her life with you. AND she is the girl who will put up with you when you have a breakdown.

Now if you have a girl like that, who is your best friend, don't you EVER, I mean EVER, mess it up.

Never take this girl for granted because she is the best thing for you and probably the best thing that has ever happened to you.

So, guys, if you are having relationship problems with your girl and she is constantly trying to put effort into it, don't you DARE ignore it or her.

This is your wake up call.

Please reevaluate what you are doing and take a step back and think to yourself, "Am I making her happy? Am I giving her my all? And am I put any putting an effort into this relationship as much as she is?"

If the answer is no... Here is what she is feeling and thinking:

"Am I not enough?"
"Do I make him happy anymore?"
"I don't want to give up... I could never give up... but I am so exhausted from trying so hard and not getting any effort back."

And if you know if she is feeling like this, please reassure her and give her your all. Because one day she is going to be TOO exhausted to try anymore. She is going to be too miserable and awfully sad. She is eventually going to give up. And it is going to rip her heart out.

She is a one-of-a-kind girl and if you NEVER want to lose her.

PUT. EFFORT. INTO. THE. RELATIONSHIP — It is honestly not that hard.

Relationships are not one-sided. Relationships take two people to work and yes, sometimes it is hard work. But if you genuinely love and care for your one-of-a-kind girl, you'd do anything in your power to make her happy and to make this last.

She is one in a million. There is only one of her. And I promise you, you will never find another girl like her unique self.

This is to the couples out there, especially to the guy. That girl, the girl who loves you with every ounce of her being, she needs you to wake up.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf

Related Content

Facebook Comments