What The Love Language Of Receiving Gifts Really Means

What The Love Language Of Receiving Gifts Really Means

This love language is highly misunderstood.
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This is probably the toughest love language to justify, but unfairly so. Many people will simply see this love language as selfishness or materialism but it is not always the case. For people that have this love language, receiving gifts is a way for them to understand and truly believe that the love is thoughtful and true. Some people need the visible symbols of love to feel the connection between themselves and their partner.

Receiving gifts is the love language for people that feel cared for and provided with another person’s energy. What I mean is that we highly appreciate the energy in the giver’s thoughts behind the gift. To us, when we receive a gift we think: “ Oh my, this person must really have thought about me and what I like. This person is making the effort to think like I do because we are in a serious, monogamous relationship. This person loves me because this is physical proof that he is thinking about me, and is not afraid to put his feelings for me above his wallet. How kind of him to show me that he puts me above himself, what a considerate, thoughtful, and romantic gentleman”.

These gifts do not have to be expensive. They are not supposed to be thought of just as price tags. If so, you just have a gold digger. The higher the cost, does not mean the higher the appreciation. Stating this, a balloon can be more precious to me than a purse. It depends on the context. The more “surprising” and meaningful, the more it will be remembered. Of course quality is helpful, but in reality it just needs to catch us off guard to be precious.

For more considerate individuals, this is often a touchy subject. We don’t like to demand for gifts. The more natural the gift was given (as in the giver was not asked to, or hinted for, or begged), the more appreciative and loved we feel. We feel the thoughts of the giver through the act of receiving (similar to how some animals are attracted to partners that provide a token of affection). For people like me who have this love language as important, it will be hard for you to be in relationships where this is not understood or considered for. Continuous neglect with tokens of affections will cause for a rough relationship as both people will not able to express and understand love in the same manner.

If your significant other is not good at gifting, it will be very hard for you. There is nothing wrong with us to feel a disconnect in the relationship if it is not met. If neglected for too long, we will think and feel as if we are not beautiful or worthy enough. For me, I thought that maybe I didn’t deserve these things because I am not beautiful, feminine, or lovely enough. I hated to think this way, but it is a genuine feeling that was and is hard to overcome. For people that place great appreciation in this love language, it is very hard to explain just as it is hard to be understood.

We value people that realize and accept this about us. The people that make the effort to understand how we actually feel, or feel the same way we do are the best partners for us because there is a level of mutual connection and understanding. Gold diggers are not who we are, and we hate to be compared to it because it is not who we are. We are people that understand love through unspoken physical representations of thoughts. We do not demand or beg, we just wish and hope. We hope for our partners to express themselves spontaneously, and naturally with loving thoughts.

Don’t judge us in the wrong way. You will know if you have a gold digger or a neglected loved one. Remember, it is hard for us to discuss as we want it as naturally as possible. We need your expressions of love to be from your own will.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.huffpost.com

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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10 Things We Love and Don't Love at Weddings

It's not about the bride and groom. It's about the guests' experience.

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If you think that weddings are all about the bride and groom, then you haven't tried planning a wedding. If that was true, then the planning process wouldn't be rife with discussions, arguments, and family/friendship-altering decisions. But that's not a bad thing.

A wedding revolves around the bride and groom, and they care about their loved ones who have supported them through the lows and highs of a relationship and will continue to do so. Naturally, couples want a wedding that meets their personal desires and is a memorable party for their guests.

As someone who has been to a variety of weddings and in the throes of planning one, I'm in the perfect position to speak for the masses about what we want and don't want to see at a wedding. There's no way anyone feels differently than I do about the following:

1. Love - Personal Vows

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The dating world has been overcome with swiping, lewd pics, and group dates as traditionally romantic gestures such as flowers and an intimate dinner have taken a back seat. The world needs romance, and it can be found in personal vows. Hearing about the unique love shared between the bride and groom is sure to bring a tear to every eye.

2. Don't Love - Long Ceremonies

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We are not a patient generation. I'm not an expert, but it's safe to say our attention span, as a whole, is about 2 minutes long. Guests are there to witness a beautiful union, but they are really there to get drunk, eat, and dance – and I wouldn't test their patience during a long ceremony. From the beginning of the ceremony (walking down the aisle) to the conclusion (kiss the bride), keep it around 20 minutes. 30 tops. Any more and nobody cares. We are a fickle crowd.

3. Love - Ceremony, Reception, and Lodging in One Location

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I'm lazy. I think we all are. Does anyone want to go to a ceremony, then get in an Uber for 20 minutes to get to the reception, then get an uber back to your house, hotel, car, or whatever at the end of the night? That's a negative. The best weddings are the ones that are all-inclusive. Sure, walking a block or two is cool, but let's avoid completely separate locations.

4. Don't Love - A Selfish Officiant

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Holy mackerel, I can't stand this one. First of all, we are there to celebrate friends/family that are getting married, not to hear about how the officiant knows them or why Jesus is important. I don't want to hear your bad jokes, your familiarity with them, why they chose you, or your never-ending prayers. I want to hear the officiant speak about the bride and groom's love, their relationship, what makes them unique in this world, and celebrate their strength. Officiants shouldn't say "I" until they pronounce them Husband and Wife.

5. Love - Dancing

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Obviously. This will be discussed further down, but dancing is a blast when given a proper amount of time to boogie. Sometimes, the dance-portion of the evening can be stilted and we never can really get down they way we need to.

6. Don't Love - Frequent Stops in Dancing

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Per the last observation, a wedding has to let us get funky. By the time dancing occurs, we have quite a few people liquored up, and there's always a family member or friend that stops the dancing to give a gut-wrenching speech. Or the DJ keeps pausing the dancing for a stupid game. Or it's cake-cutting time. The point is, we like to see a wedding that is organized and has time carved out for at least 2 hours of uninterrupted bump'n'grind.

7. Don't Love - A Selfish DJ

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They suck, they suck, they are suck incarnate. They suck harder than a selfish officiant. There are DJs out there that don't realize they are a wedding DJ and think it's time to freestyle the mixing, explore outside the 90's and 2000's playlist, and use the microphone to add their own voice. If you are a wedding DJ, then all you do is make the appropriate announcements, play solid music, and occasionally get people clapping. You are one miniscule step away from being replaced by a well-seasoned Pandora – get it together.

8. Love - Personal Moment with Bride and Groom

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This one is particularly important to me as a guest, but I also understand if it can't happen. There is something truly special about getting a personal moment with the newlyweds. It's a reminder of why you're there – to support them in this special moment, and they wanted to share it with you. The reception is a blur for the bride and groom, but those who walk around and thank the guests really go the extra mile.

9. Love - Open Bar

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Duh.

10. Don't Love - Long Table Rehearsal Dinner

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This is definitely a personal thing. I can't stand birthdays, family events, friend groups, or anything involving eating at a long table. First of all, I rarely get to sit next to those I know or those I want to get to know. It feels like we all end up next to people we're not trying to meet. Yes, this is a great moment for people to get to know one another, but we aren't children that have to be squished together. I don't want to make a new connection with someone while battling with my spaghetti and trying to get dinner drunk to deal with the awkwardness. Put standing circular tables out with an open bar and dank hors d'oeuvre, and allow people to organically meet'n'greet.

To be honest, the last one does apply to weddings, but I just really wanted to get my feelings out there about 10 person 1-table evenings. They are like a selfish officiant and a selfish DJ made love and produced an awkward evening.

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