Everyone has this general idea of what they picture college to be like. Getting drunk on Tuesdays nights, pulling all nighters studying for tests, surviving on only four hours of sleep, and eating nothing but instant ramen and Kraft mac and cheese. Everyone thinks that college is one big adventure. This new found freedom allows for a person to find themselves, to live to the fullest, and to have the best time of their lives. But what happens next? What happens after college? Does the fun just abruptly come to an end? Does the reality of this cruel world finally settle in?

These are supposed to be the best four years of my life, so I’ve heard. I’m only three months in and I absolutely despise it. This past summer I kept imagining how great things were going to be. I thought I’d make a lot of new friends, try something new everyday, and overall live the life I always dreamed of living. Maybe I expected too much. I recently went through a breakup and I’m constantly finding myself drained. Being with him was honestly some of the best days of my entire 18 years of existence. I did things I wasn’t comfortable with only because I wanted to make him happy and that clearly wasn’t healthy. He left me saying that all we had was just physical, that he wasn’t emotionally attached to me, and we just weren’t compatible. Going into the relationship I knew how different we were. I also knew that if two people really do like each each, they work to build a strong bond together. I guess I liked him a lot more than he ever liked me. The worst part is that he just simply didn’t care. He’s out living his life happily while I’m in my room reading over old text messages and crying. It’s awkward when I see him. We kind of look at each other and keep doing whatever we were doing, it’s like we’ve never even met. Being my first relationship ever, I know it’s going to take time getting over. It may still hurt but it won’t always be this way.

Like I’ve said, I’m constantly finding myself feeling drained. There’s so much I could be doing and things I actually want to do but I’m always finding myself sitting in my room alone. I only have about five people I would consider my friends and they’ve helped me a great deal in getting better over the whole breakup. I know they care about me but there’s only so much they can handle until their own lives get in the way. Not everyone has the time to eat lunch with you every single day. You’ll find yourself lost, alone, and questioning everything frequently. You’ll miss arguing with your parents. You’ll miss those quiet afternoons where you found yourself with nothing to do because you now you have so much work you’re behind on and you don’t have enough hours in the day to complete it all. College is hard. But it’s not all that bad either. When you do find time to go out with the very few friends you have, you’ll forget about all your troubles and the hangover the next morning will be worth it. As time goes on, you’ll start to get the hang of college life and it won’t be so hard anymore. The good times outnumber the times you’ve felt sorrow. Looking back twenty years down the road, you may think that these actually were the best four years of your life.

College is only the beginning. It’s the first time one has to consider embarking on their own independent journey. There’s no doubt in saying that it’s a long and stressful journey; it’s full of tears, mistakes, and regrets. But it’s also full of endless laughter and unforgettable memories. So what does happen next? Do you finally find the person you’re looking for within yourself? Well, Life happens. It doesn’t stop for anyone. You never stop finding yourself. Each day brings with it new possibilities and each day you discover more and more about who you are. Even after college, you may not know what you want to do with your life and that’s okay. Life is unexpected. Do things out of your comfort zone. If you dislike something about yourself, do something to change that. Learn to love yourself. Learn to love your life.

The world is a mysterious place but that doesn’t mean that one should live in fear. The fun doesn’t end after college. Life is only as great as you decide to make it.