I've always been the type to follow my dreams, no matter how hair-brained or chaotically unorganized they may be, which the majority of them are, but I digress. This is another one of those times. Bethel University is a small, private university in the middle-of-nowhere Mckenzie, Tennessee where students spend their time getting lost in corn fields and discussing ways to sneak the opposite sex in after visitation hours. Sure, there are clubs for athletes and Greeks and musical freaks (I belong to the musical freaks category, might I add), but there simply are not enough clubs for the rest of the student population. Well, until now, that is. Stemming from a late night of Tumblr coding and binge pizza eating, I had an idea. As an English major, writing has always been an interest of mine, and unfortunately there was never a student organization outlet for myself or the rest of the people on our campus itching to have their thoughts heard. Now, finally, thanks to a thousand text messages and phone calls and many hours spent finding the right people for this particular job, The BU Wildcats have a writing team. Here is a look at how my train of thought ran rampantly off the tracks the first couple of weeks as Editor-in-Chief as according to Castiel, Angel of the Lord, gifs from Supernatural:

1. What do you mean I am in charge of hiring the ENTIRE team?

I have never, ever, EVER been in charge of something like this, and it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. For those of you that have never tried to hire people without any pay, promising them that they will enjoy writing an article weekly for absolutely nothing but the spirit of writing and possibly $20 for the most shared article, it is definitely not the most desired thing for college students choosing instead to focus on partying and boy/girl problems. Fortunately, despite my lack of people skills, I have found a wonderful group of people who, so far, are blowing my expectations out of the water.

2. Am I going to do a good enough job as an Editor-in-Chief?

All week long, I have thought, this is it. This is my first real, big girl job as a writer like I have always wanted. Then it hit me, the doubt. What if I couldn't fulfill my job adequately? What if I had started this team, agreed to be the leader, and failed all of them hugely? What if I couldn't motivate people to write? What if I wasn't as good of a writer as I had always thought of myself to be? After the doubt violently drug me up one side of the negative street and down the other, I finally came to the realization that whatever I put toward this job, it will be absolutely good enough. What I have to offer is more than enough, and I have to believe that it will show every week from here on out.

3. What if no one gets their articles in on time?

I could call and text and Facebook message until I am blue in the face and my fingers fall off, but it doesn't change the fact that college students procrastinate until the very last moment, which makes the Editor-in-Chief, i.e. ME, tremendously anxious to have to wait. I had to finally just sit down, breathe, and put my full faith and trust into the knowledge that the team I have assembled would turn in their articles, even if it was the very last second possible.

*Side note: THIS ONE, THIS IS THE ONE WE WILL CONTINUOUSLY WORK ON EVERY WEEK. Early articles, make for a SUPER happy editor.

4. What if no one actually cares to hear what the students on our team have to say?

This was a really big one for the week. With Bethel being such a small school, who would actually care to read the writings from the students who inhabit it? How far would our articles really go? Would it even matter to any one? The answer I have finally come to is yes. Yes it matters. As long as we tell our stories to the best of our ability, then it all has a purpose. So what if only our parents gush over our words, or if only our friends find what we have to say invigorating? So what if only 100 people read our articles, 50 people read them, 15 people read them, or 1 person reads them. They will be read, they will matter, and that's that. If something we say resonates within the heart of only one person, our jobs have been done.

So in the end, I, as well as the rest of my team and future team members, have been given this opportunity and now that I personally have silenced all of my doubts within my own mind, it is truly time to start celebrating this magical chance granted to the team of students at our school.

What team you ask? WILDCATS, and we definitely have our heads in the game.