In this day and age, scientific breakthroughs occur on a daily basis. However, trying to figure out the significance of these breakthroughs can be quite the challenge. Those scientific publications contain so much science jargon, it's like they're written in another language. But worry not, for here is a quick guide to figuring out what these scientists are really trying to tell you.
What they say: "A highly significant area that has potential for more research in the future."
What it actually means: This is a completely useless study, but it was chosen by my committee so I had to do it.
What they say: "While no definite conclusion could be drawn from this data..."
What it actually means: The experiment did not go as planned, but I'm still trying to publish this.
What they say: "Figure 1 shows a gel that represents the results of this experiment."
What it actually means: This is the one presentable gel of the 100 gels I ran. Actually, I didn't run any of them. My grad student did.
What they say: "It has long been known..."
What it actually means: I don't know the original reference because I didn't bother looking it up.
What they say: "There is an evident trend."
What it actually means: There is actually no trend because this data is meaningless.
What they say: "It is believed that..."
What it actually means: I think.
What they say: "It is generally believed that..."
What it actually means: A few other people agree with me.
What they say: "Well known."
What it actually means: It's obscure to anyone else.
What they say: "Three of these samples were chosen for more detailed study."
What it actually means: These were the only results that made sense, so I'm not going to worry about the other ones.
What they say: "Additional work must be done to obtain a complete understanding."
What it actually means: I don't understand this.
What they say: "While there is no established theory that effectively explains these results..."
What it actually means: Nobody else understands what's happening either.
What they say: "According to statistical analysis..."
What it actually means: Rumor has it.
What they say: "Correct within a certain order of magnitude."
What it actually means: This is completely wrong.
What they say: "Of great theoretical and practical importance."
What it actually means: This is unimportant to anyone except me.
What they say: "Hopefully this study will stimulate more research to be conducted in this field."
What it actually means: My research isn't that great, and neither is any of the other research that was done in this field. I quit.
