Everyone has been in a store at one point in their lives. Whether it's a Wal-Mart or a Gucci store, you've been somewhere where people are hired to help you out. Retail employees have relatively hard jobs and most of the times customers make it worse. In one eight hour shift we feel a wide range of emotions and have millions of thoughts.
Most of the time the thoughts are sarcastic and funny, and we wish we could say them out loud. Here are just some that are most common.
1. "Clearly that's the price."
If you point at a price tag and then ask me if it's the price again I will lose it. If it's marked different then that's the price, it is literally that simple.
2. "Haha, wow, haven't heard that joke before."
No it isn't free if there's no tag, or if it doesn't ring up properly. You're not funny and my laughter is fake.
3. "I cannot give you another discount."
Honestly, even if I could give you another discount I wouldn't. Just because you asked for it I am more inclined to not give you one.
4. "Oh, I'm totally sure you didn't wear this once left the tag on and are returning it."
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Did you really think I wouldn't notice that it smells like cologne and has pit stains? I mean, I know I work in retail, but I'm not stupid.
5. "Really? You know that's not where that goes."
So you're really just going to screw up my whole store because you're too lazy to put stuff back? I mean, are you really that terrible of a human being?
6. "Oh cool, F me."
If I greet you when you walk in the door, just be polite. It is so easy to say hello back, do not ignore me or cut me off saying you're just looking. Are you starting to sense a theme? Hint: IT'S BE NICE.
7. "Get. The. Heck. Out."
If you come into my store 5 minutes before I close, you're getting the worst service ever. You're a jerk and deserve to be treated like one. Once someone came in at 8:59, when I closed at 9 and stayed for 30 minutes just to pay in all cash? I wanted to scream my head off. Instead, I put on my customer service smile and took their money.
8. "Is it nice outside? I wouldn't know, I'm stuck inside helping your dumb self."
I get it the weathers nice, don't rub it in my face? Cool, you think you'll go to the beach later? CAN'T RELATE.
9. "I do not get paid enough for this."
Your stupid questions do not pay the bills so I need you to buy something or leave.
10. "You can clearly see I'm closing. Why are you here?"
The register is shut down, the floor has been vacuumed, the store looks pristine. I have a minute until I lock the door and you and your fourteen children are really going to come in here and destroy my store? Why me? What did I do to deserve that?
11. "If I just told you the answer why do you continue to ask?"
"Do you have this in other colors?" No sir, I don't. "OK, so like you wouldn't have it in brown?" Nope, that would be considered a different color. "How about blue?" NO SIR, I JUST TOLD YOU. Consider that color on repeat for ten times and that's one day.
BONUS: "If I quit right now I could just get another job."
Every second of the day and every time I endure more terrible human interaction I get one step closer to ending it all. The only thing stopping me is the fact that everyone else's jobs suck too.
