What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." A saying that we've all heard many times throughout our lives. These words are meant to convey perseverance, bravery, and strength. These words are supposed to help you translate whatever pain or unhappiness you have felt before into some road map to making you a better person. We're taught that whatever storm cloud that looms above us will have a rainbow at the end of it, that it'll all be worth it in the end.

I don't believe this. I don't believe that whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and I certainly don't believe that faith alone will help you find a rainbow at the end of a storm. For starters, whatever doesn't kill you or make you feel pain and unhappiness, isn't going to make you stronger. It makes you angry. It makes you feel angry. It makes you feel uncomfortable. It makes you lash out. It makes you blind to rational thinking. None of these things make you stronger. They're just heavyweights that drag you down.

I think the only things that make you stronger, are the parts of life that you love, cherish, and care about. The people you love, cherish and care about. That is real strength. This is what will lead you through the storm and find that rainbow and pot of gold. Who doesn't love a pot of gold?

The problem is that there are many people who can't find the things they love or are alone and have no one to lean on. So, when they hear "whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" they listen to it like gospel. They focus on the negative in hopes of making them stronger, harder, indestructible even. They try to wear their pain like armor and use their anger as a sword and shield. The problem is that armor is heavy and exhausting to wear and a sword and shield scares people away. The point being is that it's tiring to try and look tough and walking around with an angry look on your face ain't exactly a conversation starter.

It shouldn't be so hard to find things that you love and make you happy, but with so much negative energy it's hard to focus on the positive. It shouldn't be so hard to find supportive people that actually care. It's taken me a long time to find the things that actually make me happy and will make me stronger. While I do believe that every difficult situation has some type of lesson, it's unhealthy to believe that your strength comes from anything other than something/someone that makes you happy.