What Not to Do When You Canoe | The Odyssey Online
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What Not to Do When You Canoe

Tips so you don't tip! Even though you probably will.

Jessica Putnam
Aug 09, 2016
SUNY Oneonta
1673
What Not to Do When You Canoe
Lake Winnipesaukee, Morgan, Jess Putnam 2016

So, you are ready to experience the great outdoors. You are excited to listen to the sweet chirping of the birds, and feel the breeze off the water as you float along in a canoe. As you are about to take in this beautiful nature experience, your friend in the back of the boat smacks his paddle on the top of the water. In doing so he creates an obnoxious spray of water on your back. This and other dreadful situations on your canoe trip can be avoided if you follow this list.

1. Don't expect a kayak.

No, kayaks and canoes are not the same. This is a kayak.

2. Don't bring $1000 worth of electronic equipment on your trip

Actually don't bring $1000 worth of anything, or of any important value. Yes, maybe a life proof case and a ziploc bag will keep what ever you have dry, but it sure as hell won't keep it from sinking. So unless you want your brand new iPhone 6 at the bottom of the river, keep it at home. Fish can't make calls anyway.

3. Don't bring that asshole friend that purposefully tips the canoe every couple of minutes.

You probably are thinking of someone now who fits this description. Good, don't bring them.

4. Don't be that asshole friend that purposefully tips the canoe every couple of minutes.

You know who you are.

5. Don't stand in the canoe.

Disagree with me? Do it see what happens.

6. Don't bring your cat.

Unless your cat is like this one. Or this one.

It might be best to leave your furry friend at home.

7. Don't invade the animal habitat.

This includes, but is not limited to poking alligators (Florida), taunting turtles and smacking fish with your paddle.

8. Don't panic.

If you flip because you didn't listen and brought that asshole friend, relax and try to bring the canoe to the nearest shore line. Or start baling.

9. Don't expect to control the canoe.

I know many canoe enthusiast might disagree with me, but in general I have found canoes are a lot like life. It will be going straight for awhile and the next thing you know your heading straight for a log, or getting tangled in lily pads.

Hopefully, this gave you some insight on the joys of canoeing. Stay safe, get wet, wear a life jacket and have fun!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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