What My Parents Should Know Before I Come Back For Summer

Everything I Want My Parents To Know Before I Come Back For Summer Break

There's much more to know than from what we talk about over the phone.

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I've always been lucky to have a strong relationship with my parents, where I know I can go to either one of them at the end of the day and tell them about everything I've been up to at college. Whenever I find free time in my day, I always try to call them and update them on my life because it feels good to hear their voices and catch each other up on what's happening here and what I've been missing at home.

But while I do try my best to talk to my parents and keep them in the loop, there still are a few things that I want them to know and understand, especially before I come back home for the summer for a few months.

First of all, I want them to know how tired I'm going to be when I step through the front door.

While I'll be thrilled to see everyone, such as my brother, my dog, and all of my hometown friends, I'm also going to be feeling completely exhausted, since I'll be coming straight out of finals week and a long four-hour drive back home. So Mom and Dad, if I'm acting lethargic or deciding to stay under my covers for a few days in a row, don't think it's because I'm trying to avoid you when really I'm just trying to catch up on all the sleep that I've missed.

The next thing I want my parents to know is that I'm going to be feeling a bit sad as well.

Leaving behind all the aspects of college, such as freedom and independence, is already hard enough, but leaving behind all of the people that make college such a special place will be the worst part of it. Going three months without seeing my friends will feel like an eternity and will hurt more than you can imagine because I'm transitioning from being able to walk down the hall or taking the elevator to visit them in their rooms, to being separated by a few hours in different states. I'm sure that over the summer I might make a few plans to try and visit them, but it'll be different and a lot more difficult, since we'll all probably have conflicting summer schedules. So Mom and Dad, if it seems like I'm down or "out of it," don't think that I'm not excited to see you, because I definitely am and have missed you both immensely. But at the same time, I'll be losing some very important people for a while, and that's not going to be easy to endure.

Another thing I want my parents to know is how far I've come and how hard I've worked this year.

I know that they usually are aware of this and always remind me of how proud they are, but they'll never be able to see all of the restless nights spent in the library studying for tests, or me juggling multiple tasks around campus throughout the day. They won't fully be aware of the fact that I've been trying to manage not only academics but a healthy social life, and that while all of this is not easy, I'm still pushing through this from day to day. And while they might be able to get an idea of what this lifestyle is like, they still aren't able to be here with me throughout the entire journey, observing every task, project, or test I'm working on. When I leave campus on my last day, I'll leave knowing that I did everything that I could to produce my strongest work, even if one or two of my final grades aren't an A+. So, Mom and Dad, I want you to know that no matter what grades I do get at the end of this year, I want you to realize how much time and effort I've been putting into my work and my studies, and I hope you'll understand that I truly did the best I could.

But most importantly, I want my parents to know how extremely thankful I am for supporting me in the school of my dreams ever since my first day of freshman year.

This school has changed me for the better and has allowed me to grow as a student, a thinker, a writer, a leader, a young adult, and so much more. I've been able to take classes that I'm passionate about and pursue career and networking opportunities that will help guide me for possible future job experiences. I've had the opportunity to meet some of the best people who I'm lucky to call my people, and who are able to be here for me and support me when you guys are a few hundred miles away and unable to do so. So, Mom and Dad, I want to thank you both for providing me with this amazing experience and for always supporting me throughout every step that I've taken. I can confidently say that if it weren't for your endless support and love, I would be a different person in a different situation.

I still have a few more weeks until I can officially say that I'm a junior in college and that I'm on summer break, but Mom and Dad, I can't wait to see you, and I hope that you know all of these things before I walk through the front door and embark on an amazing summer at home.

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved
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To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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My Parents Deserve To Be Celebrated 365 Days A Year, Not Just On Mother's And Father's Day

One day a year is not enough to express how thankful I am for my mother and father. I don't think 365 days will do it justice, either.

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Mother's and Father's Day. Days of the year where everyone is expected to focus all their attention on the mothers and fathers of the world. They do so many things that are never recognized, just expected of them. It's their duties as mothers and fathers to take care of, protect, love, and do all means necessary to make their children happy. That's what they signed up for, right?

We use Mother's and Father's Day to step back and thank our parents for all the little things they've done over the past years. For 24 hours, we end up showering them in attention, gifts, and love. It's our turn to spoil them back.

After those 24 hours are gone though, what happens? All the sappy social media posts fade away. The handwritten cards get tossed out. The festivities end. Everyone goes back to their daily routines.

I always found it funny how on these days every year, everyone in the world is all hands on deck, spoiling our moms and dads in any way possible. My siblings and I would always get our parents cards, small gifts, and maybe have a special dinner together that day.

As I grow older, I'm starting to understand how silly a day like Mother's and Father's Day really is. My parents are the greatest superheroes I have ever met, so they should be celebrated, appreciated, and taken care of not just one day, but every day of the damn year.

My parents have raised me from day one, supporting me through all the highs and lows. They picked me up when I fell down and scraped my knee on the concrete. They dealt with me through every temper tantrum and angry episode. They didn't kill me during my teenage years (I was the biggest brat).

They've spent God only knows how much money to support me in all of my endeavors. They sat and let me cry on their shoulders when I got my heart broken for the first time. They continue to pick up the phone in the late hours of the night when I'm having a panic attack about something silly.

They stood by me as I graduated from middle school, high school, and college. They'll continue to support me as I move out and on, getting married and having a family of my own.

My mom and dad have been there for me 365 days a year, every year. I think it's my turn to be there for them 365 days a year, not just on Mother's and Father's Day.

I know it's hard to do so right now as I am at an unstable time of my life, but one day I will be able to give back everything they have given to me, and more.

So, to my wonderful parents, my role models, and my heroes:

Thank you for taking care of me, protecting me, loving me, and doing all things necessary to make me happy. I don't think any amount of words, hugs, or kisses will be able to truly show how blessed I am to have parents like you. I love you both so much, and I promise to celebrate you every day, 365 days a year.

You mean the world to me, and I hope you know that you've done an amazing job raising my siblings and I. I hope to one day be half the parent that you are. Thank you for being you. I love you so much.

Happy Mother's and Father's Day to all the parents out there. Although those holidays are absolutely your days to shine, I hope you get showered in love 365 days a year, too.

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