On social media, I sometimes feel as if I need to put on a show, the same way that everybody else does. We all post about the happy parts of our lives, and it is a good thing that we can share our happiness with others. However, I often allow my confidence and self-esteem to be measured by the number of likes I get on a selfie on Instagram and by the number of followers I acquire on Twitter. My reliance on social currency has been mostly subconscious, as it is for many other people, but we all need to face this reality. Think about it: deep down, this rings true for almost all of us.

We millennials compile a large portion of what is known as Generation Validation. We make up the generation that looks specifically to social media and other external sources for validation, when we should learn to validate ourselves. Generation Validation is increasing in prominence because my generation has turned into a bunch of over-likers. For example, a poorly-documented photograph of a processed cupcake posted on Instagram can easily get 100 likes. By being nice and liking this picture, the liker contributes to the larger validation problem. People are getting praised for incredibly mundane things, which dilutes the value of a "like."

Due to the expansion of this phenomenon, people now expect "likes" in all aspects of their lives, online and offline. We expect to be complimented whenever we think we look nice. We expect to be told we are funny whenever we tell a joke. We expect to be told we are intelligent whenever we answer a question correctly. However, yearning to be "hearted" all the time actually leaves us feeling disheartened.

This idea is known by psychologists as contingent self-worth. On social media, I tend to wait for someone else to confirm that my actions are cool. By doing this, I form opinions of myself based on other people's values rather than my own. The further I stray from my own center, the more miserable I become.

Now, after realizing this pattern of behavior, I am choosing to remind myself that the world does not revolve around me, but that does not mean I do not have worth. I have worth that is undefined by the world. Now, I am taking a step back and identifying my core values so that I can stick to them. If I like something and it aligns with my beliefs, I will stand behind it. I will ignore the voice in my head that wants to make sure other people agree with me. Now, I am understanding that not everything I do will be likable, and that is totally okay. There will always be people who dislike me wherever I go; that's human nature. Accepting this fact is incredibly liberating.

By temporarily deleting social media, I found a way to allow myself to be transformed as I started to validate myself with real-world things. I began to validate myself through passion, health, fitness and even grades. Focusing on the real-world things made all the difference in my life. A. D. Posey said, "You have to validate yourself first, and then you will receive the much-deserved healing validation from the rest of the world." To sum it up, I'm gonna do me, and I hope you do you.