19 Things I Learned By 19

19 Things I Learned By 19

Here are my life lessons and realizations.

As my 19th birthday falls on February 10th of 2017, I've decided to make a list of everything I learned by age 19.

19. Seriously, high school doesn't last forever!

No matter how much it feels like the endless days of waking up at 5:30 won't end, they eventually do. I promise!!!

18. Not every guy is an arrogant a**hole, yes really.

Coming to college has taught me that decent guys really do exist in the world and they don't all just want "one thing" like the common misconception.

17. Homework doesn't have to take over your life.

If anything, I've realized that I do a ton of homework, but I also have plenty of free time to spend with my friends.

16. STUDY!

The time spent in middle school thinking studying is lame will not pay off in college. I study for the amount of time I need to know that I understand what I need to and then I try to not to stress to bad about it.

15. Conquering anxiety takes baby steps.

It's still a day by day learning process, but I'm doing my best to keep my anxiety at bay. I've started to have an easier time raising my hand in class to voluntarily answer questions and have conversations with different people all the time which I never did in high school.

14. There are people I can trust in this world.

I've made friends in my life that I wouldn't trade for the world. When it comes to having people that I can have deep conversations with, I have the most understanding and nonjudgmental friends I have ever met.

13. Outward appearance isn't everything.

From the materialistic era of middle school to a new era of self discovery in college, I've realized that I am not a superficial person. It's nice to have a fancy here and there, but in all actuality, I know that my personality and charactertics make me who I am, not the materials I posses on my body.

12. Vegetarians are not crazy.

It took me along time to embrace the idea of anything made from vegetables would actually taste good. I am now addicted to a variety of veggie based foods and I feel like I'm contributing to helping the environment. (Thanks Isane!)

11. The obsession with dogs will never end.

From being a young child with a dog themed room to being an adult who is willing to pet a passerby' dog on the daily basis, it's safe to say that my love for that furry legged friend will never leave my heart.

10. Alone time can be a good thing.

I always associated being alone with the time I actually spent alone throughout school as I sat through my least favorite classes with no friends to talk to, the time during senior year when I literally had a study hall by myself, or just the time I spent in my room at home when no one was available to hang out with. Being alone always connotated a sad emotion, but I'm slowly learning that it's alright to have "me time" and not think of it as miserably being all by my lonesome.

9. I deserve happiness.

I spent a lot of time in high school constanty wondering the same old cliche "why me?" It always felt so unfair being the only person that was like me; the quiet, shy girl who never spoke a word unless spoken to. It felt like a curse at the time. But, college has led me to meet other people like myself now and know that I'm not "strange" and I do have a place in this world that I hope will mount to great importance one day. Not saying much doesn't mean I don't have articulate thoughts!

8. Braces will eventually come off.

I literally felt like I would never have my braces taken off after what felt like an eternity during that almost 3 year period. (Thanks impacted canine tooth!)

7. Embracing change is not a bad thing.

I was always somebody who hated change. It never seemed like a good thing to me. I've now had so much change happen in my life that I feel like new changes are for the better rather than anything bad.

6. Having a diverse group of friends is amazing.

I've met the people who I hope to stay friends with for a lifetime and I couldn't be more grateful for our chance encounters that made that possible. Everyone is so different yet similar and I love that. You all have impacted and changed my life(Thank you Nicole, Joc, Bre, Thomas, Isane, Benjamin, Kye, Callie, Juan, Noah, Jake, Abby, Mikayla and of course the rest of you amazing people who know who you are!!! I just didn't want too long of a list.)

5. It's okay to go to parties.

I always believed that notion that college parties are just a debauchery full of the people who solely came to college to party. I couldn't have been more wrong and oven made some wonderful friends just from people I've met at parties. And nobody has ever forced me to put a drink down my throat or offered me drugs.

4. Breakfast is actually really nice.

I never ate breakfast in high school and I still hardly do in college, but when I do get a chance to eat breakfast, I always wonder why I opt to skip out on it. French toast sticks are truly a wonderful gift from the Heavens.

3. A lot of realization about religion.

I won't speak my opinion on what my views are, but I'm now more vehement than ever on my stance with the subject.

2. Take plenty of photographs to capture memories.

As somebody who loves photography, this isn't a hard task that I've taken on.

1. Self assurance.

It's taken 19 years, but I am finally able to be confident in who I am, what I believe in, and what I stand for.

Cover Image Credit: http://www.think19.com/link-19_/

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To The Boy Who Will Love Me Next

If you can't understand these few things, leave before things get too involved

To the boy that will love me next, I need you to know and understand things about me and my past. The things I have been though not only have shaped the person I’ve become, but also sometimes controls my life. In the past I’ve been used, abused, and taken for granted, and I want something real this time. The guys before you were just boys; they didn’t know how to treat me until it was too late. They didn’t understand how to love me, until I broke my own heart. Before you truly decide to love me I want you to understand these things.

When I tell you something, please listen.

I’m my own person, I want to be loved a certain way. If I ask you to come over and watch movies with me please do it, if I ask for you to leave me alone for a few hours because it’s a girl’s night please do it. I don’t just say things to hear my own voice, I say things to you because it’s important to my life and the way I want to be loved. I’m not a needy person when it comes to being loved and cared for, but I do ask for you to do the small things that I am say.

Forgive my past.

My past is not a pretty brick road, it is a highway that has a bunch of potholes and cracks in it. I have a lot of baggage, and most of it you won’t understand. But don’t let my past decided whether you want to love me or not. My past has helped form who I am today, but it does not define who I am. My past experiences might try and make an appearance every once in a while, but I will not go back to that person I once was, I will not return to all that hurt I once went though. When I say those things, I’m telling the complete and honest truth. I relive my past every day, somethings haunt me and somethings are good reminds. But for you to love me, I need you to accept my past, present and future.

I’m just another bro to the other guys.

I have always hung out with boys, I don’t fit in with the girl groups. I have 10 close girlfriends, but the majority of my friends are guy, but don’t let this scare you. If I wanted to be with one of my guy friends I would already be with him, and if you haven’t noticed I don’t want them because I’m with you. I will not lose my friendships with all my guy friends to be able to stay with you. I will not cut off ties because you don’t like my guy friends. I have lost too many buddies because of my ex-boyfriends and I promised myself I wouldn’t do that again. If you don’t like how many guy friends I have you can leave now. Don’t bother trying to date me if you can accept the fact I’m just another bro.

I might be a badass, but I actually have a big heart.

To a lot of people I come off to be a very crazy and wild girl. I will agree I can be crazy and wild, but I’m more than that. I’m independent, caring, responsible, understanding, forgiving, and so such more type of woman. Many people think that I’m a badass because I don’t take any negatively from anyone. Just like we learned when we were younger, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Most people can’t do that in today’s world, so I stick up for myself and my friends. I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, or their option on how I live my life. The only thing I care about is being able to make myself happy. Even though I’m an independent woman, understand that I do have a big heart. Honesty when I truly care for someone I will do just about anything they ask, but don’t take advantage of this. Once you take advantage of this part of me, all respect will be lost for you.

I’m hard to love.

Sometimes I want to be cuddle and get attention, and sometimes I don’t want you to talk to me for a couple hours. Sometimes I want you to take me out for a nice meal, but sometimes I want a home cooked meal. Every day is different for me, sometimes I change my mind every hour. My mood swings are terrible on certain days, and on those days you should probably just ignore me. I’m not easy to love, so you’ll either be willing to find a way to love me, or you’ll walk out like so many others have.

I’m scared.

I’m scared to love someone again. I’ve been hurt, heartbroken, and beat to the ground in my past relationships. I want to believe you are different, I want to hope things will truly work out, but every relationship has always ended up the same way. I’m scared to trust someone, put my whole heart into them, just to be left and heartbroken again. I sick and tired of putting my whole body and soul into someone for them to just leave when it is convenient for them. If you want to love me, understand it won’t be easy for me to love you back.

When “I’m done.”

When I say “I’m done” I honestly don’t mean that I’m done. When I say that it means I need and want you to fight for me, show me why you want to be with me. I need you to prove that I’m worth it and there’s no one else but me. If I was truly done, I would just walk away, and not come back. So if I ever tell you, “I’m done,” tell me all the reasons why I’m truly not done.

For the boy who will love me next, the work is cut out for you, you just have to be willing to do it. I’m not like other girls, I am my own person, and I will need to be treated as such. For the boy that will love me next, don’t bother with me unless you really want to be with me. I don’t have time to waste on you if you aren’t going to try and make something out of us. To the boy who will love me next, the last thing I would like to say is good luck, I have faith in you.

Cover Image Credit: Danielle Balint

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To Those Who Feel The Need To Tear Down Others, Take A Seat

You have no right to hurt others because you don’t agree with them.


I recently wrote a super controversial article, which I'm honestly very proud of. In the comment section, there were plenty of people criticizing me because of what I believe in, mainly because they didn't believe in the same thing as I put out there.

I would just like everyone to know that the people that write for this amazing company are just that — people. They are real, they have opinions, and they have feelings. There is nothing different about them than you. Would you like someone commenting hate on your Facebook post or anything like that? No, no you wouldn't. When you comment rude things on something that someone worked long and hard on, you are just being rude and inconsiderate of their feelings.

If you just go to the comments to leave a rude comment, you can write it down on a piece of paper and throw it away. You're being a bully. These writers more than likely will go to the comment section, just like I did, and will be hurt by your arrogant, inappropriate comments.

Ever heard of if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all.

If you don't agree with me that's fine, but that doesn't give you the right to deliberately go and try and tear me or anyone else down. You're just being rude and you have no reason to be, all I did was write an article on something I believe in.

Also, don't let anyone rude enough to do this tear you down or diminish your self-worth. There are people out there who are still kind and caring, don't listen to the negativity this world brings. Just keep doing what makes you happy, because in the end, that's all that really matters.

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