We have all woken up one morning and realized how fast the semester is actually flying by. The anticipation of fall semester is actually happening in a blink of an eye. Here I was at 7:54 am, wrapped in my favorite blanket staring at the ceiling on a typical Thursday morning. I had a busy day ahead of me and a million thoughts that would replay in my head in order to solve my current problems. I brushed my teeth and took my morning shower and head to my first class. I had completed piles of homework throughout the day, and went straight to my part-time job right after. When my day was finally over, I returned home to two handwritten letters from my best friend; who's currently in the army completing her basic training. As always, I sat down and cried as I read her descriptions of her current reality. There I was broken in half, in my own world and in my own path surviving my current reality.
That "oh shit, this is actually happening moment" when you realize this is what's like to grow up and take your own path. The lonely moment when I was crying by myself with no one to hug my broken pieces or whisper to my ear "Everything will be alright." In moments like this is when I would call my best friend and explain to her my current situation and although she wouldn't have the right answers, her presence would bring me back to place. That wasn't possible, as she stood miles away from me at a boot camp somewhere in the Carolinas growing up and living her own path. I had been avoiding these thoughts for quite a while, just feeling empty inside.
I once read a quote that said; "The moment you change your perception, is the moment you rewrite the chemistry in your body." (Anonymous.) A week passed by, and here I was just giving thought to how lonely I felt deep inside. I wasn't lonely at all, I would attend my classes and go to work and have interactions with other people. I didn't give much thought to these interactions until I remembered that quote I had once read. If someone would've asked me; are you depressed? I would've said yes. The truth is; I had no reasons to be depressed because she wasn't dead. I'm living a very privileged life by attending college, and everyone I love and care about are healthy and perfectly fine. I have a car that takes me places where I need to be. I have a laptop and other electronic items I need to complete my assignments. I'm in the middle of the semester, and most importantly I'm alive. To this condition I diagnosed myself with growing up and taking my own path.
By having the opportunity to be in college, you're privileged enough and you are here because you want to be here. No one forced you to come, you have big dreams and wish to accomplish them someday. Although we do need to focus on the future, let's not forget to live the present first. Day by day we learn something new and it teaches us a new lesson. Every act of kindness you accomplish and every interaction you have with someone it impacts them in special ways. I begin to reminisce the times the everything was better and I took those times for granted, because according to me these were rough times.
Here I am, sitting by myself at The Original ChopShop writing you this article. There's people sitting with friends and a big group of scholars discussing at a meeting. I am by myself, and that's totally okay. It is impossible to not think about all these issues in your daily life, but do not let them take over you. Remember; "The moment you change your perception, is the moment you rewrite the chemistry in your body."
