"It's just hair; it'll grow back."
I cannot count how many times I've said this sentence over the past two years. My hair was never a huge part of my identity, so cutting it all off into a pixie cut (an adorable one, if I may add) probably didn't hit me as hard as it may have hit someone who is less indifferent about how she wears her hair. Nonetheless, it still seriously impacted everything from my daily routine to my relationship with self-expression.
When I started college, I was basically a golden retriever. My hair was long, curly, and blonde, see below. (Everyone, this is my mom. She's the greatest ever.)
Shortly thereafter, I cut my hair roughly to my shoulders, which wasn't a big deal for me. My hair had been "short" before. The real change came in January, when I really decided to grab life by the horns, take the plunge, and get the big chop and all the other idioms I can fit in this sentence. See below.
A couple things happened when I cut my hair other than my ears being cold all the time, which had a lot more to do with my insides than my outsides. I lost one of the crucial elements of traditional "femininity." I didn't have that archetypal component of traditional beauty. But, to be completely honest, I had never felt more feminine. I realized how little what my hair looks like has to do with the fact that I'm a girl. It's still really easy to be super feminine, even if you don't have a "girly" haircut. I finally figured out what real self-expression is. I wanted to convey my identity through my ideas and my actions rather than what I did with my hair or makeup or clothes.
After I adjusted to only needing a minute and a half to blow dry my hair, I found that I couldn't hide behind my curtain of hair any longer. I realized that you could see my face all the time. No matter which way I wore my hair, you could still see my face. I honestly can't stress enough how much that helped me cultivate a positive self-image. It helped me learn to accept myself as I was and am. As someone who is incredibly self-critical, I know just how difficult this can be. I promise -- pinky promise -- that, though it's hard, it is so worth it. It is so worth the work to have become accepting of yourself.
I've had short hair for almost two years, and I can't say that I've loved every second of it. It can get really irritating when you realize the only way to change your hairstyle is just to wait for it to grow. However, making that drastic change has helped me learn a lot about myself, and I wouldn't trade these discoveries for all the cute braids in the world.
