What It's Actually Like To Be In A Long Term Relationship
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Health and Wellness

What It's Actually Like To Be In A Long Term Relationship

I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it's hard.

What It's Actually Like To Be In A Long Term Relationship
John Hayden

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 and 1/2 years since we were sophomores in high school at 15 years old. Let me tell you, we've been through a lot. Nobody knows what goes on behind the scenes of the Instagram posts and hand-holding. I love him to death. I never imagined that I would find someone as genuinely kind and compassionate as he is. Everyone sees long-term relationships and likes to talk about how they want to be in one. Before you commit yourself to that kind of dedication and sacrifice, let me tell you what exactly you're getting into.

First, you no longer think of yourself anymore. Both consciously and subconsciously, you're always thinking about another person. You're always worried about how they'll feel if you go see a movie with some guy friends or if you should spend the $50 leftover from your last paycheck on yourself or on him. You don't watch some movies on Netflix because you want to watch it with them. You move your schedule around so you can see each other when it works into both of your schedules. It's hard, especially when you don't have similar schedules. You can't be selfish anymore. You ALWAYS have another person to think about, and if you don't, you probably won't make it too far.

Second, you get way too attached. They become your best friend. Speaking for myself, it gets hard when you don't get to see each other very often or as often as you'd like. (I may be a little high-maintenance in that category...) You have to be ok with the fact that you are indeed two separate people and that you need to live your own lives. It gets hard when you start doing a lot of things together, but keeping your own identities is important.

Third, your family becomes their family and their family becomes your family. You now have an extra set of parents and an extra sibling or two. This could be a blessing or a curse, depending on your situation. I got lucky and it's definitely a blessing to me. Just another warning I need to throw out before you decide you want a committed, long-term relationship.

Last, your relationship consumes you. Similar to my first point, you have two people to think about if you want your relationship to last. You have two schedules, two family holidays, two different lives that somehow and somewhat coexist as one. Mentally, it's all you think about. If you're doing it right, you still get the butterflies that you did at the beginning of the relationship. You still constantly look forward to the next time you get to see them. There are so much more things that you think about because there's two of you now.

It's hard, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. There will be so many fights about the littlest things and long periods of time where you don't get to see each other and family vacations without the other one. It's not just always having someone to Netflix binge with while you eat a whole gallon of ice cream. In each relationship's own way, it's just hard. My boyfriend and I have gone through a lot of personal things that just makes us stronger. I wouldn't trade it for the world. Waking up every morning knowing you have someone who will always be there for you, through thick and thin. Having someone that you know will always be there for you is something I hope everyone gets to experience in their lifetime. Some may not be as lucky to find their forever at 15, but I'm glad I was.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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