Over time, words change, as well as people, styles and technology. However, the evolution of words could not have happened any faster than it has in the 21st century. Not words like plastic, book, or watch, but words like happiness, success, love, friendship. Friendship, better yet “best friendship,” is something we’ve all had experience with at some time or another. Although for some reason, this is a word often described in many ways, and there are many factors to take into account. Are there different types of best friends? Can a male and a female be best friends? How can you identify who your best friend is? These are a few questions one may ask when trying to create a personal definition of the word “best friend." From my understanding, a best friend is an individual you’ve formed a unique bond with, can easily relate to, and can reconnect with after periods of time.
Author Alex Lickerman, M.D., compares friendship to family, and says that both have extremely deep connections between individuals in his article in Psychology Today. Additionally, he stresses that “time and distance do nothing to diminish the bond we have with these kinds of friends." Speaking from personal experience, I find this to be extremely true. One of my closest friends is someone I hardly get the chance to talk to anymore, because we both live very busy lives in two different cities. However, every time we get the chance to contact each other, we tend to talk for hours, and it’s as if time was never lost. She is someone I consider family because of how long I’ve known her, how comfortable I am with her and how well we know each other’s families. I don’t believe one can simply judge whether or not someone is their best friend based on how many times they talk a week, etc. According to an online poll I conducted, 86 percent of the 72 voters had voted “No” to the question, “Does a best-friend have to be someone you consistently talk to/hang out with everyday?” I found these results were what I had expected, considering my personal experience of a somewhat long-distance best friend. This also helps to justify the point made by Dr. Lickerman that family and friendship can coincide.
In "Everything’s An Argument," there is a piece by Alex Pattakos called “The Meaning of Friendship in a Social-networked World.” Pattakos pointed out that social media, where people become friends online and often only communicate through social media, actually ruins their social skills. There are many people who make friends online, but would never talk to them in person because they feel it may be awkward or uncomfortable. Friendships made online in comparison to face-to-face, make it more difficult to really communicate with the person and see what they truly act like. A person can put any profile picture up, can lie about their age, or can even simply be unable to provide a sense of tone for the other to truly understand. I think we can all agree that it is harder to understand someone’s tone through text than it is to hear their voice and see their body language in person. This strong use of companionship online, in a sense, is ruining friendship according to the author.
“Friends are kind and act as a positive influence in your life." This proves the quality of what a best friend has. A best friend will root for you, do thoughtful things for you and is genuinely interested in your life. However, these are only a few factors one may use when trying to identify a best friend. There are plenty more definitions, but overall the impact of a best friend is positive.
In “What is Friendship?” by Molly Edmonds, she discusses the emotional meaning behind friendship and what it takes to be a friend. She says, “A friend is the first person you want to call when you hear good news.” This is important because it proves that a friend can be more than just someone to hang out with, they can be someone who will share and celebrate your victories with you. Edmonds also mentions, “it requires that people put someone other than themselves first sometimes.” Being someone who values selflessness, I agree that this is a great quality to have in a friend, especially a best friend.
On the other hand, I’ve witnessed times where people throw around the word “best friend,” almost making it lose some of its greatest definitions. I’ve often noticed people do, in fact, use “best friend” for someone they just hang out with all the time or someone they simply “get along with.” For example, one of my friends from high school used to have a different friend almost every month. None of these people actually meant anything to her, because unless they hung out with her 24/7, or they merely disagreed with something like the color of a handbag, she would not call them her “best friend” anymore. This was horrible to me, because it left the definition of a “best-friend” to be almost meaningless! Realistically this type of thought process doesn’t allow anything more than a temporary best friend.
As one can see, friendship has many definitions, depending on the situation, or the person you are asking. Friendship is most commonly known as a bond between two people or more that are comfortable with each other, care for each other, and have fun together. Although there are the shallow meanings, like a best friend you met and only talk to through social media and a best friend that only serves the title because they spend a lot of time with the each other, my personal definition fits more towards the most common version. I believe a best friend is someone you can relate to, someone who gives a positive impact on you, and one who is loyal.
