The Internet’s Infatuation With “Soft Boys” Needs To Stop

The Internet’s Infatuation With 'Soft Boys' Needs To Stop

Quick, (before he ghosts you), let me know if this boy sounds familiar!

2560
views

You know he exists. Your girlfriends have told you whisperings. He's lurking nearby. It's…the softboy. The one who civilly slides into your DMs because he would love to hear your thoughts on philosophy, literature, or his vinyl collection.

Okay, sorry, backing up. In order to understand what a softboy is, you must know some history. Internet 101 is in session. No need to silence your cell.

media1.giphy.com

In the past few years, society has finally come up with a word for a male sl*t: a f*ckboy! In case you don't know this slang, a f*ckboy is a male who is strictly into sexual relationships facilitated by manipulation. You know, the kind of shallow guy who sends unprompted pictures of his genitals. He is typically seen with "his boys" because bros come before h*es. A f*ckboy will tell you that "you're not like the other girls"; this is supposed to be a compliment because he doesn't have any respect for other girls. Quick, (before he ghosts you), let me know if this boy sounds familiar!

Well, ladies and gents, we have a new monster on our hands. Or, rather, the same monster in a sheepskin disguise: the softboy!

The softboy Internet craze is a new trend, created as a seeming pendulum swing from the overt dirt-baggery of the infamous f*ckboy. Finally, American culture has a backlash against obvious jerks! …Only to be replaced by the same guy, but this time, in Doc Martins.

media2.giphy.com

They are imitations of the adorkable, lanky white boys of the month on Twitter such as Noah Centineo, Cole Sprouse, Timothee Chalamet, and Troye Sivan – the guys who are not afraid to express their feminine side in their emotional art. Young people adore them for their androgynous beauty and progressive sweetness. In turn, normal guys impersonate these famous people in hopes of receiving that same adoration from women.

However, what these imitators, these softboys, lack is the authenticity of the guys they're trying hard to look like. It's a façade to get in others' pants. He regurgitates whatever you want to hear and will use that to sleep with you before he moves on to "deal with his journey as a flaneur". Whether you're dealing with a f*ckboy or a softboy, they're both manipulating others based on what they think they like. And manipulation is wrong.

media3.giphy.com

Let me argue further, whereas an out-and-proud f*ckboy will wear a tank-top and listen to SoundCloud rappers, the softboy prefers a thrifted sweater while listening to indie music and calling all other tunes "trash". You know, because he is sensitive.

Whereas a f*ckboy half-jokes about being a meninist, the softboy respects women too much to pay for anything, ever. He calls himself a feminist, utilizing the label to his advantage. The softboy knows he's not going to make any girl swoon by being a total misogynist, so he plays the antithesis. But as soon as the situation gets ugly, he will show his real philosophy, with his patronizing voice calling you a derogatory name when something doesn't go his way.

Everything a softboy does is a ploy, (so convincing, that he may even believe these things about himself). He completes this performance to demonstrate to you that he's the good note in the noise. And that's why you have to be wary of him.

Popular Right Now

I'm A Christian Girl And I'm Not A Feminist, Because God Did Not Intend For Women To Be Equals

It is OK for me to not want to be equivalent with a man.

815181
views

To start off, I am not writing this to bash feminists or get hate messages. I am simply writing this to state why I do not perceive myself as a feminist.

March is International Women's Month and that is what has got me thinking about how I view myself as a young woman in the 21st century. I enjoy every day getting to soak up the world as a young lady, particularly in the South.

If you know me, then you know that I love and utterly adore Jesus. He is so perfect. He is everything. He is my whole life. Some people might say that I am a "Bible-thumper" or someone who has had too much Kool-aid and maybe I am, but I know who my Creator is and that He died for me, and that is all that matters.

In my young age, I loved to just sit in church with my parents and absorb all that God would deliver. As I have grown up, I have ventured off and joined a church that is different than my parents, so the responsibility falls more on me, but I love that. Since this era of independence began, I have thoroughly enjoyed taking ownership of my faith.

I spend a lot of time chatting with God, worshipping Him in all kinds of ways, and just diving deeper into His Word. Through all of this growth as a Christian, I have learned a lot, but something I have learned is a concept that some may not agree with, which does not surprise me.

I do not believe God meant for women and men to be equal.

There, I acknowledged the elephant in the room.

It is a shocker, I know, but I have some Biblical evidence to back up this belief that I have.

Let us begin in Genesis. God created man and then he created woman. This was two separate occurrences and order is key. He created Adam and then Eve.

Jesus treated women with grace and kindness, do not get me wrong. I mean just look at how He treated the woman at the well, the one who used all of her expensive perfume to cleanse His feet and not to mention His own biological mother! He has a truly unique place in his heart for women, but He also has special intentions for us in the world and in the family setting.

We are to submit to our husbands.

We are to be energetic, strong, and a hard worker.

We are to be busy and helpful to those in need.

We are to be fearless.

All of this is explicitly laid out by God in Proverbs 31.

We are not to be equal to our male counterparts. Jesus does not lay out the Proverbs 31 man, but He rather lays out the Proverbs 31 woman.

A husband or man is to be the head of the household as Christ is to the church.

A man is to love a woman so deeply that represents how he loves himself.

A man is to leave his father and mother.

Women and men are not equal in God's eyes, but they each represent Him in their own ways that the other needs.

If we were all equal, we would not need one another and therefore we would not need God. I am so thankful that we were not created equal. I am so thankful that God is so great that He could not just create only man or woman to represent His image. He is so perfect.

So, you see I am not a feminist, and it is OK.

It is acceptable for me to have this belief that God intended for men to lead women. It is also okay for people to have differing opinions. Writing this was not easy, but I know that not all people agree.

To feminists and those that are not, you are allowed to believe whatever you wish but have evidence to back it up.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

What, In My Opinion, Guys Really Want In A Girl

It may not be as simple as you think.

290
views

I've recently started "watching" this show with my wife called "Paradise Hotel" or something like that. I think it's on Fox. It's pretty much a competition to see who can make it as a "couple" the longest or till the end to win a ton of money. It's a reality show that is filled with drama and hot bodies and more drama. I watch this show because, honestly I kind of like the drama, and my wife watches it so what the heck.

We were watching it the other day and there was an opportunity for two more girls to be put on the show. As the other guys asked questions and got to know these potential women, I told my wife which girl they guys would pick. She picked the others over the one I said, because of their "bodies." However, the girl I picked was the one whom the guys picked. My wife looked at me and said "How did you do that?"

Here's the deal: Guys have been SO poorly shown to be all about certain looks and nothing else. And this simply isn't true.

I should put a disclaimer here: I'm referring to "guys" as (mostly) mature men who are into dating and have their crap together. This doesn't include boys who just want their 2 minutes of relief and are just aimlessly guiding through life.

Okay so yes, A LOT of what guys look for is looks. I can't sugar-coat that or lie about it. No guy I know will date a girl whom he doesn't find attractive. That doesn't mean that if one guy doesn't go for a certain lady, that she is ugly or whatever. It means that one guy doesn't find her attractive, but plenty others might! To each their own.

So yes, looks are important and a must. But there are so many more attributes that are important:

These could be a fun and outgoing personality, a sense of humor, confidence in your looks and self-identify, and some maturity. I know guys can be really really immature, but there are a lot of girls out their with women's bodies and a child's mind.

We also love a girl who respects herself. And understands what a man needs. Men do need respect. It's something that we crave and have to have. Women should be respected as well. I'm not advocating that respect is a one-way street. But having a girl who admires and respects who we are (once we earn their trust) is just a necessity.

Another couple things that are a must for guys is to not be freaking psycho. I know all women (and people for that matter) have their emotional outbursts. I don't think I'm being sexist to say that women, in general, might be more emotional people than men because of hormones and stuff... although I've seen plenty of men who need to stop being such wimps. But psycho and loud women just get on our last nerves.

Maybe I didn't answer any of your questions, but maybe this gave you a bit of an idea of what we want and look for in the women we want to date and eventually settle down for life with.

Related Content

Facebook Comments