So you have just started your new job as a new grad nurse.
You like your unit, your manager seems ecstatic you have joined the team, and you have a preceptor that tries each and every day to teach you all her or she can.
Maybe you dread going to work.
You get report at the beginning of the shift and feel as if you are already an hour behind with tasks. You are already overwhelmed for the 12 or 13-hour shift that lies ahead. There are so many things to do right now; someone's IV pump keeps alarming, call lights are ringing out the wazoo, one patient is in severe pain and needs pain medication, another patient is vomiting, and maybe even another patient is having a rapid response called on them that could potentially escalate into a code blue ... you can't do this, it is too much, you just want to get to the end of the shift. You dread going back the next day. Is this really what you signed up for? Will this ever end? Will it ever get better? The life of being a nurse is not what you imagined it to be.
As of now, I am one month into being off orientation and I can easily say being a nurse is the most difficult endeavor I have experienced in my lifetime.
I could say that I graduated as one of the top students at Avila University; that I passed NCLEX in 76 questions; that my teachers, family, and friends had full faith in me; that I thought I was ready to be a nurse and endure all the trials that come with fulfilling the role as a nurse in the health care setting ... and some days this all seems to not matter as I am hard on myself and exhibit a complete Type A personality, as most nurses do!
Being the "new nurse" on a unit is terrifying and intimidating, but to be surrounded by other nurses who are there for you, ask you if you need help, don't turn their backs on you, and are there to lift you up when your workday just seems like the end of the world, is what keeps me going.
Who is it that inspires me to be a nurse?
Every nurse who does not turn their back on me, every nurse who simply acknowledges it's okay to make mistakes as we are all humans and this is our nature, every nurse who takes a moment to help me when I am scared, and every nurse who remembers what it is like to be a beginner. To my co-workers who lift me up and keep me going, thank you x a million! Through the many nights of having meltdowns and feeling like I failed as a nurse, my co-workers are who keep me going and reassure me I am meant to be a nurse and am doing a great job considering how demanding of a career nursing is.
Over the past month I have had the opportunity to care for, be with, talk to, and reminisce with some of the most kind-hearted and thankful patients; to have a patient say to me "I would have thought you would have been a nurse for at least 5 years." or "Thank you for actually taking time to talk to me and attentively listen to me." or "The care you have given me has been phenomenal and exceeds other hospitals in the area." or "I will miss you and wish I could take you home with me." or "You have a bright future ahead of you, Lauren." are all reasons I love my job and continue to strive to do the best that I can do as a "new nurse."
These small moments make up for the hardest and most trivial times as a nurse.
As a new grad nurse, I hope to find myself reflecting more on the career I was called to take part in and the career I have always dreamt of.
What is my "why"? What is my driving force?
What type of nurse do I hope to be? Am I doing my best that I possibly can and provide quality, patient-centered care at the end of each and every day?
Reflection leaves room for transformation and change for the positive; reflection allows one to review their day and look at areas, in which, improvement can occur.
I urge us all to include reflection time into our daily lives, whether that be a mental reflection, talking with those around us, or writing down on paper what we feel we learned from each day on the job.
Being a nurse is not about being perfect, but it is about effort.
And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens. That is how change occurs.
A nurse who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.
Devote yourself. Make it happen. You will struggle. But you will overcome your fears. Smile, keep your chin up, and don't forget this is your dream. Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable.
With love,
A fellow nurse.
