Fellow graduate students, ask yourself this question if you have not done so. "What have you done for yourself lately?" If you cannot answer that right away or you answer it with guilt, there might be a problem. Whatever you do, do not stress yourself out about it. I repeat, DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT! This was a lesson that I had to learn the hard way, twice, within two and a half years before now. This problem can be fixed only if you use the tools for it. Allow me to tell you the story about two and a half years ago.
I was an undergraduate on the verge of graduation. I was working at the local McDonald's while being an active member of the marching band, my sorority, and of my church. Basically, I was wearing four hats trying to get to the fifth hat of college grad. Then, the worse happens at my already dreadful job. They schedule me to work the night shift on the day before Homecoming, and have the audacity to schedule me to work on THE NIGHT of Homecoming, even if I specifically requested that day off in advance. It was the straw that broke this camel's back. In my case, it was my knee because working there cost me an inflammation in my knee. I was stressed beyond belief and told myself to never do that again.
Fast forward to the year after that, I am a graduate student in need of a job. I gain a second job working for the food court. It was good at first, because of a flexible schedule and my classes were online or once a week at night. Then, it went all downhill from there. The boss became more unpredictable, work was turning into a mini reality show, and graduate school was getting very serious. I was wearing myself down, my hair was turning gray, and I was on the verge of quitting everything. One day, I went to my group counseling course, which was essentially a mock group counseling and it has helped me to see clearly what I was doing with myself.
This brings me here to the present. I have learned that being a graduate student is a job in itself, especially when it is preparing you for the career of your choice. Stress is the last thing you need to put on your head. If all you have done for yourself lately is work, worry, and whine, then it is time for a new game plan. This is what I recommend incorporating into the game plan.
1. SCHEDULE. SCHEDULE. SCHEDULE!
I cannot express how important it is to have a schedule for not only your school, work, family (if you have children), and especially for you. Find a calendar, Mark your important deadlines, and make a day off for you. Yes, schedule a day off for you. It will benefit you in the long run.
2.Reward yourself!
A wise man once said, "Treat yo'self!" Okay, so it's from "Parks and Recreation," but the words ring as true as a wise man. Give yourself a reward for getting through the week of insanity. Don't limit it to a week, give yourself a pat on the back each day for getting through the day. The reward does not need to be a materialistic item, but a little "Nugget" that says "You are doing good. I'm proud of you. You are a step closer than before."
3. Keep a pocket-sized circle.
At this point in our lives graduate students, finding real friends is hard to do and time-consuming. The ones who have been by you since day one of your undergraduate years and have seen you at your best and worst are the ones who should be in your tiny circle. The less people in your circle, the less time is wasted on guessing who cares about you succeeding.
4. Get away from your busy surroundings.
When your work, school work, and even family sometimes get suffocating, it's a good idea to just get away. It can be a corner in the house or in a car going to a far off city. Giving yourself that space for at least an hour will help you refocus your vision and remind you that the bigger picture is yet to be completed. In that getaway time, meditate, pray, cry, cuss, yell (watch for children and public places), speak out, or write out how you feel. Give yourself the release that you need
So my fellow graduate students, "What have you done for yourself lately?" Ask yourself this every day as you continue to work and toil your way to your second degree. Have faith in your journey as I have faith in you.
