What does love look like today? It’s changed and been perverted so much over the years that I think a lot of time people don’t even know. If they don’t know, then they make up what it means. We toss the word love around and don’t take on the weight of the word.

Today, love is portrayed by attractive and athletic couple clothed in the newest style kissing on a beach with a perfect sunset. Maybe there’s a table with a candle lit dinner beside them with the sound of waves in the background.

Oh, also they have a yacht and a gigantic house with a hot tub. OK.. so it’s not always this exact scene, but you get the point. There is a theme of desire within these images we picture in our minds. We desire to be attractive and to be with attractive people, we desire to be successful in order to afford such a perfect vacation and perfect lifestyle. We picture these things in our mind, and we may end up sayings things like “Wow, I just love that.”

In our world today selfish want or desire plays a counterfeit love, and we end up falling for it. I think sometimes we end up thinking that we are acting in a loving way when we are actually acting out of manipulation to ultimately gain from our actions. I know this is true of both genders, but I’m mainly going to speak for girls.

I know girls so often can seem so sweet and loving, and behind that whole masquerade, they are trying to manipulate and gain from their actions. We know what to say and do to pull out a complement or get someone to do something for us in the long run. We often do this to guys so they keep doing and saying things to us that make us feel loved.

The other day I heard a group of young girls screaming because some guy had texted one of the girls telling her she was hot. Every part of me cringed at the fact that this action would be taken as a romantic gesture when most likely the guy sending the text ultimately was thinking of this gain from this text and not this young girl’s heart. It breaks my heart because the people giving this counterfeit love and those receiving it often think what they are experiencing is love.

There are too many people setting for this mediocre attention and calling it love. It's not always intentional. It’s just that we don’t think about it. We naturally focus on ourselves, and that comes out in our behaviors. We don’t put any effort into our love, and that is our mistake. If I’ve learned anything over the past few years, it’s that love is hard work. We are not naturally going to have a genuine care for people.

It’s not in our nature.

I would get so frustrated with myself because I would meet someone, and I would want so badly to care for them on a deep level from the first moment. However, I would stop and think about why I was being kind to them, and I would realize that deep beneath the surface level was the fact that I had certain things I wanted to gain from the relationship.

It took that self-check for me to actually take that step in beginning to love by taking my eyes completely off myself. I desire love so much. Not in a way of desiring a significant other or having someone pay attention to me to up my self-esteem. I desire the kind of love between people that is so genuine and authentic.

The love that is pure and without selfishness hidden beneath it. I desire to gain and give the kind of the love found in the Bible. The kind of love full of acceptance, respect, and drained of every ounce of pride. The kind of love that Jesus gives to those who completely reject him in every way. I don’t think that there is anything quite as powerful as someone who gives that kind of love. It’s a beautiful thing, and I desire to get to that point. I know it takes effort, practice, and a continual process of being self-aware.

I also can’t forget that there is no one who is not good enough to receive real love, and there is no one who is unable to give real love.